Day: July 13, 2009

The McBournie Minute: I’m moving to a new country

If I told a joke about someone a different race, religion, gender, etc. as me here, I might get some negative feedback. If I told a joke like that at work, it would be most likely a poor career move.

I’m not really one for that brand of humor anyway. Too much of it is misplaced. Humor is in misdirection and suprise, not in playing up stereotypes with bad impressions. (Hear that, Mencia?) So normally, I don’t think about this sort of thing, but last night, I had to.

I was out on the town, at an Irish Pub near me, watching Seamus Kennedy, an Irish folk singer (from Ireland, so you know he’s good) perform. It was there that I figured it out: foreigners can get away with way, way more than we Americans ever could. I’m not talking about the perceived white-people-can’t-make-jokes-anymore factor, just if you have an accent, you can say anything you want. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: I’m moving to a new country

And in the end, we’ve got Dick

We already know that Dick Cheney really likes torture. What we didn’t know, until alleged by Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) on July 12, is that he didn’t want to share any of the sweet, sweet waterboarding with Congress.

Feinstein, who chairs the Senate Intelligence Committee, said that CIA Director Leon Panetta was ordered by then-Vice President Cheney to not disclose the use of abusive interrogation techniques to the official oversight panel for intelligence-gathering.

So, if you’re looking for anyone to blame for U.S. torture, Cheney wants you to know that it was all him, none for you, get your own imported foreign nationals to erotically manpile.

Comic book world comes closer to reality

Oh sure, it’s easy enough being poor and needing to panhandle-but one needs to have a license to be a super-hero? Great shades of Civil War!

But it’s true enough. Recently, two men dressed up as Superman and Batman in New York. Alas, their actions were less than heroic. Curt Swan and Marshall Rogers would be most ashamed. The World’s Finest began panhandling on Times Square, where they were approached by a female member of New York’s Finest. When asked if they had the proper identification needed to perform (to which their panhandling was considered a form of), Superman allegedly punched the officer and took off down the street (on his feet, rather than the slipstream of the air), stating “I’m not getting arrested.”

Nonetheless, a team of cops was able to take him down. We’ll call them The Superman Revenge Squad. Oh, and Batman? Not causing any problems, he was let go and proceeded to walk off with a tourist dressed as the Statue of Liberty.

Bruce Wayne: P.I.M.P.

And it probably shouldn’t be hot pink, either

If you’re going to rob a store, you may want to actually have a weapon that will intimidate. A gun is an excellent example of this, however, a toy gun–not so much. We have seen this used in several movies,  Made and Big Trouble just to name a few. But you know what happens when you use a fake gun to show people you mean business, they figure out it’s a toy gun.

That’s what happened in Alabama, when Rick Snee a man tried to rob a gas station. The store clerk was not so intimidated and pulled out a cricket bat. Seeing his error in bringing a toy gun to a cricket bat fight, the would-be thief took off running into the night.

Why the hell does a gas station in Alabama have cricket bat?