Fish will totally eat you if they’re given the chance

Posted on July 14, 2009
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |

It’s sad to think, but it’s true-we are clearly living in a bad M. Night Shyamalan movie.

Okay, sorry, I realize that the word “bad” is redundant when used in that description. Nonetheless, it’s true. Fish in Switzerland are not only somehow growing to immense proportions (I assume that they are-the metric is completely indecipherable to me, after all), but they’re now attacking humans.

Let me rephrase that-they were. An enormous zander, a freshwater fish, was caught in a Swiss lake after having been terrorizing swimmers. Luckily, this story has a happy ending. Not only was it caught with a harpoon (which Captain Ahab has taught us is the most manliest of ways to fish) rather than a wussy net, the monster was then served up to tourists at the lake. Sure, they might grow slightly larger in the next coming months and experience possible increased levels of aggression, but bollocks to that!

Justice truly must be delicious.

Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor