Day: July 16, 2009

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Bruno’

You will never view pygmy sex the same way ever again.

Like many other dangerous and controversial comedians, the role-playing guerrilla satirist Sacha Baron Cohen knows how to draw an audience into a conspiratorial relationship with him — and then make you squirm anyway. Bruno, his newest quasi-documentary stunt comedy, is, if anything, a crazier, funnier, and even pricklier pincushion of a movie than Borat, his 2006 tweak of all things dumb, bigoted, and American. Teaming up again with director Larry Charles, Baron Cohen once more wanders the U.S. landscape in the put-on guise of an egomaniacally doltish yet weirdly resonant pest. This time he’s Bruno, a cretinous and very, very gay Austrian fashion-celebrity-fame whore in skintight hot pants and a frosted mop of Eurotrash hair that spills over his forehead like the tail of a dead squirrel. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Bruno’

Le dead, they are rising

Quick, before someone tries to cover it up or explain it all away. Check out this picture from the CNN story.

Yes, there was an accident at a Madonna concert in France, which is tragic of course, but look closer. The French ambulance, a vehicle whose sole purpose is to transport the injured and sometimes dead to the hospital, says in big letters “REANIMATION.”

Yes, reanimation. As in rising from the dead. It’s been a while since we heard from the undead, but they certainly seem to be around. Don’t let Madonna bite you!

Robot needs food badly

Then you know what? It can die.

Please don’t hurt me!

So this is how the worlds, eh? By our own hand. A technology company has managed to create the world’s first “eating” robot.
Right now, it looks like the biomass it “converts” is limited to “green” plant matter, but I’m sure we’ll see future models that can consume fruits, animal carcasses, small animals, human corpses, civillians, enemy soldiers. . .

Don’t worry, though; this project is sponsored by the US Department of Defense, so it can’t possibly go far from wrong.

The ooze is coming, and no one is safe

Bad news, folks. There’s a rather large blob of goo floating around in the Chukchi Sea right now. We don’t know what it is or what it wants. We know it’s big, we know it’s alive and we know that it’s floating with the current. The U.S. Coast Guard has made attempts to establish contact on hailing frequencies, but so far, the goo has not responded.

But, there’s good news: most people don’t know where the Chukchi Sea is, or that there is one on the planet in the first place. So if you don’t know where it is, that is strong evidence that it doesn’t exist, right?

It’s off the coast of Alaska, like way up there. So even if the blob does make landfall, it will have to travel miles and miles and miles before it will be able to attack humans.