Day: July 21, 2009

Eat My Sports: Time to eat my medicine

So we’re officially past the halfway mark of the MLB season, to those of you who pay attention, it’s been a blur hasn’t it? We started this whole shebang back in April, and back then I also made some pretty big predictions, so let’s take a look at how much I actually know by grading my predictions from the Spring.

NL East
Predicted Winner: Atlanta Braves
Current Leader: Philadelphia Phillies
OK, so right now the above .500 Braves are six and a half games back of Philadelphia. This may sound weird, but out of all the teams in the putrid NL East, the Braves have played the most consistent ball. Philly can’t figure out how to win in Philly and the Mets are … the Mets, can’t change who you are, kid. I’m sticking with Atlanta winning this because of consistency.
Grade: B Continue reading Eat My Sports: Time to eat my medicine

You’re losing sleep over more than just itchiness

No one likes a bed bug. They ugly, they’re nasty, they make you itch and even worse, they’re the color of communism.

We refuse to have that stand in the United States of America.

Unfortunately, bed bugs appear to be more than just a nuisance to your body-they’re also rough on the wallet. According to one researcher, the monsters are actually tougher to kill than ever before. What does that mean for you? More hours for the exterminator to kill the buggers (no pun intended-okay, pun intended), which in turn means a bigger drain on your wallet. Frankly, that’s not exactly something that mild mannered citizen needs in this rough economy. How about giving us a break, huh Mister Super Exterminator Warrior?

Who would have thought that this war would be so costly?

Burning, running and screaming: not ‘subduded’

In our continuing series of telling authority figures how to do their jobs, we now turn our sights onto the men and women who put on badges and protect us every day. Sometimes, they protect us from bad people, and sometimes, those bad people are ourselves.

But sometimes, they’re the police.

Forgetting how cars and gas grills work, police in Australia tased a man who had doused himself in gasoline and was carrying a cigarette lighter. The police successfully subdued him, and by “subdue,” we mean ignite his gasoline, setting him ablaze.

We can only expect this method to become standard, in the vein of forcing smoking kids to smoke entire packs of cigarettes and burning rental cars so that they can’t catch on fire.

Shaqtastic

Move over TO, reality TV has an athlete that people may actually want to see have their own show. Shaquille O’Neal (aka: Shaq, Shaq-Fu, The Big Cactus, The Big Aristotle, Shazaam, Superman, The Big Aquisition) will be competing against other athletes in their own sports to see if Shaq can make a bigger ass out of himself in a show than Charles Barkley did playing golf. We here personally can’t wait to see who can take the bigger bong rip between O’Neal and Michael Phelps.

Shine up your jingle bells

With a recession on, Christmas in July is more than just a marketing ploy for retailers out there. It’s not just a way of stirring up business with sales during a really slow month. It’s turning into an attempted extension of the Christmas season. You know who’s behind it? The Santa Claus World Congress.

Apparently, all those Santas get together in Copenhagen, Denmark to reaffirm the importance, well, probably malls and elves and stuff. But this year, the Chris Kringle Congress started off with a wedding. Apparently Nordic people have a thing for the jolly old elf.

Well, we have weddings officiated by Elvis/Darth Vader/Captain Kirk, so who are we to talk?