Day: July 27, 2009

The McBournie Minute: iPhones kind of suck

I’m going to come right out and say it: I don’t own an iPhone. I know, I know, it’s shocking. I get that reaction a lot. But it’s true. In fact, I really don’t care to buy an iPhone right now, because they are way more than I, or pretty much anyone else, ever needs in a communication device (though they will never tell you that) and in a recession, they are rapidly turning into a symbol of poor planning.

I look at the iPhone much the may I looked at fraternities when I was in college. They cost a lot, they don’t deliver what they promise and really, you just want to be seen with one. In college, I decided it was much easier if I drank when I wanted to where I wanted to, without having to memorize some group’s history or do anything remotely good for the community.

Plus, AT&T hazes you with big fees. Bryan McBournie elephant walks for no cell phone carrier. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: iPhones kind of suck

A Rose by any other name …

… would be in the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame by now.

Pete Rose was kicked out of baseball in 1989 for betting on baseball while managing the Cincinatti Reds, a charge he finally admitted to in 2002.

Thanks to Hank Aaron, Joe Morgan and Frank Robinson,* however, Bud Selig is publicly considering reinstating Rose, which would put the all-time hits leader on the ballot for the museum that celebrates Ty Cobb, who once got into a fistfight with the Tigers’ groundskeeper and his wife.

But, even if he is made eligible, he would still have to receive enough Veterans Committee votes, which is made up of all the living Hall of Fame members.

*Is it just us, or does the Veterans Committee sound like the Justice League, especially with legendary names like Hank Aaron? Maybe if they forgive gambling, they can finally move on to real crimes.

Heroic cruise ship scores 50 points

Fin whales are very curious creatures and have no natural predators. They often approach ships, sometimes too closely.

Keep this in mind the next time that you ride a cruise ship. It’s make the ability to slay them for afar that much sweeter.  Like when a Princess cruise ship in Vancouver managed to impale a surfacing fin whale. That’s 50 more points for the good guys! You just saved hundreds of passengers!

‘Help, I’m a Celebrity: Get Me Out of Alaska!’

And this should conclude our Sarah Palin photoshops.

In the conclusion to the reality show that just won’t get off the air, The Palins, Sarah stepped down from her position as governor of Alaska.

She thanked all the media that gathered around her and had turned her into a celebrity:

“‘So how about in honor of the American soldier, you quit making up things. And don’t underestimate the wisdom of the people [named Sarah Palin].'”

The media, of course, were confused by her reference to American soldiers. Maybe that new Hurt Locker movie? The war in … Iram or whatever?

Palin and her family then stepped into a helicopter that dropped them off at their truck, which was loaded up for their move to Beverly.

Hills, that is.

Spoilers: Snape touches students

If the internet was made for sex, then what are young adult books made for?

Well, if you’re in Britain, then they’re clearly made for pedophilic tendencies. Isn’t that right, J.K. Rowling?

Oh yes, that’s right, the woman behind the financial marvel known as ‘ARRY POHTTAUH may have to register as a potential pedophile simply thanks to the literature that she’s written. Now, mind you, the Harry Potter series is clearly not of the Lolita style of writing, but simply because she has the possibility of visiting students at schools, Rowling must go onto a list of people who may have a greater likelihood of becoming white unmarked van drivers. Oh, and also, she’s required to pay a fee to go onto this list. Genius.

And no, this is not an article from The Onion. We could only hope that it was.