Day: August 26, 2009

Take it from Snee: The line between celebrity and reality

Steven Segal is actually arresting you. You're not high.Arnold Schwarzenegger keeps his Conan Atlantean sword in his office as governor of California, a crown he won with the blood of thousands earned an office with the votes of millions.

Steven Seagal is a Sherrif’s deputy in the Jefferson Parish of New Orleans. He got the position by teaching cops there his martial arts moves and avenging their deaths endearing himself to them.

Tony Danza is a public high school teacher in Philadelphia, where he and his daughter will bond over her mother’s loss he’ll try to teach some kids English literature and maybe-a-little theater if they’re good, eh?

Could the line between celebrity fiction and reality blur any more? Here are my suggestions:
Continue reading Take it from Snee: The line between celebrity and reality

A Fox as a cat? Now we’ve seen everything

Ever since Christopher Nolan announced that he would make another Batman movie, the rumor mill has wondered who the villain(s) will be and–more importantly–who will be cast and naysayed until they die.

Today’s rumor comes from MTV UK, and it presents Megan Fox as the possible new Catwoman.

Comparing this version of Catwoman to previous ones, The Sun (a trustworthy source, indeed) said that Fox plans to make the character “more sinister,” having “a darker edge” and “not being able to act her way into a nude scene.”

Legal cock-up yields loophole for youngsters

The free market wins again! The cock-up of lawmakers is your gain, youngsters!

At least, if you live in Britain.

It’s always been considered illegal to sell adult-rated video games and movies to minors in the United Kingdom, ever since the Video Recordings Act of 1984. However, it’s been discovered today that the required paperwork was never put through properly, meaning that it’s actually been legal to sell adult entertainment to children for the past twenty-five years! In order for a law to be formally passed in the U.K., it has to be forwarded first to the European Union. Nobody ever actually did this when the law was drawn up over two decades ago, meaning it was never officially in place or legally enforceable.

What does this mean? Those who have already been convicted of an offense under the act will remain convicted, and can’t have their penalties/fines/sentences reduced. But those about to be prosecuted will be spared, at least until the government can enact “emergency legislation” to close the loophole. And in the meantime? Until said loophole is closed, it’s 100% legal for anyone, of any age, to buy anything. Movies, games, porn, doesn’t matter. Even if it’s media content that was previously banned in the U.K., until that emergency legislation is passed, it’s all good.

So, teenagers and pre-teens of the U.K., what are you waiting for? Hop to it and contribute to both the free market and your cerebral delinquency!

Yeah, that’s what we meant to say

It’s a good thing I double-checked this one, because you readers would have thought I was a bit Freudian when I claimed a story was about a Lego “penis” when it was in fact about a tail. It’s actually, Reuters’ fault.

Let me start from the beginning. This story claims that a Lego giraffe at a Lego theme park sort of thing in Berlin has repeatedly had its tail stolen. Apparently, the Germans love them some giraffe tail–so much so that it has been stolen four times so far. We’re not sure if it was returned or just replaced, but either way, ouch.

However, when I saw the story earlier, it was not a tail, it was a giraffe penis that was getting stolen. Which, from what we know about the Germans, makes a lot more sense. It was as if it was the same story, word for word, but the story now had replaced all penises with tails–in the story, that is.

Thanks to our friends at Regret the Error, I found out I am not, in fact, crazy. They really did publish that it was a giraffe penis that was stolen, then corrected it. Oh, you randy Reuters!