Day: September 1, 2009

Eat My Sports: Another fantasy

This year marked a first for me, as it was the first time in my three years of playing fantasy football that I was actually able to attend my draft. I gotta say, if you want an ultimate “dude’s night,” you should definitely partake in fantasy football. It combines the best of everything that we enjoy as men, mine was complete with a Hooter’s fantasy draft kit, so let’s just say the perks were good.

In years past I had succumb to just having the best overall player for me chosen and being informed of it later on. Last year’s great draft produced a lineup that got me Larry Johnson, Chad Johnson and a receiving core that granted me 0.2 fantasy points in Week 1 between three receivers. This year though, I feel my fortune may have shifted. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Another fantasy

Brought to you by letters H, N, number 1

For 40 years, we’ve watched dogs and bears and pigs and stuff live with humans consequence-free on an untraceable New York neighborhood known as Sesame Street.

But 40 years of propaganda cannot cover up the very real threat of swine flu.

Elmo and, human cast member, Gordon have teamed up with U.S. federal agencies, including the Department of Health and Human Services, to teach kids to cover their f$%king mouths when they sneeze and wash their damn hands before bringing us our beers.

That’s all well and good, but they’re still harboring Patient Zero.

But could she even reach the ballot box?

In the wacky world of politics, sometimes mishaps happen with elections. Like letting old people vote down in Florida or letting the dead vote in Chicago. But what about letting 11-year-olds?

We wouldn’t suggest it if it didn’t happen.

The girl in question was handed a ballot and allowed to vote in the election when she accompanied her Dad to the polling station. They didn’t realize she was underage until she had already cast the ballot, thus making it impossible to discern hers from all the other votes cast, so they had no choice but to accept the ballot.

Of course, the thousand dollar question is: did they just hand her the ballot, without even bothering to ask for ID or confirmation that she’s a voter? Now, in their defense, the poll operators did say that she was exceptionally tall for her age and looked like an adult. This is totally understandable and an incredibly valid line of reasoning. Not a successful line of reasoning, mind you, given the number of pedophiles in prisons.

Robofish are here, and they are watching you

We often think that science will show us new ways to defeat our enemies, but we forget that in science, as with any industry, there are those who are hellbent on destroying the righteous cause. Today, we find some such scientists at MIT.

There, they are creating a school of robotic fish for no other purpose than to kill humans–other than to inspect oil and natural gas pipelines that are deep underwater. The robofish will go places that submarines can’t, and look totally normal to other fish.

Wait a minute, maybe this is a way at spying on fish. Maybe MIT is planning to make these into fish terminators!

(Courtesy of Toni A.)