Take it from Dr. Snee: Teach your kids to masturbate
Posted on September 2, 2009
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Before we get started with this week’s questions, I just want to remind you that your health insurance provider no longer covers consultations. By reading this, you agree to pay your entire bill within 90 days. No take backs!
Dear Dr. Snee,
Why is swine flu back? I thought it was gone.
–Reinflating My Bubble
Three words, RMB: slow news week.
Viruses don’t go away; they just get bumped for more interesting headlines if they don’t kill enough people. Read more
Written by Rick SneeNot the best comparison, dude
Posted on September 2, 2009
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Surprisingly still Governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford is facing an ethics probe into his travels.
The probe has been arranged by his Republican collegues in a mens’ room to look for mis-use of state resources and unreported sponsored flights.
In part 14 of the ongoing series–Now Why the Hell Did Mark Sanford Say That On Public Record?–Sanford told The Washington Times:
“I think I now know what Sarah [Palin] may have been feeling.”
Dude, if you’re going for the sympathy card, you should probably compare yourself someone that people feel sorry for.
Written by Rick SneeSacre Bleu! Not ze hobos!
Posted on September 2, 2009
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A new Internet game is taking France by storm, but upsetting everybody else. Zut alor! Clodogame (which translates as Trampgame) is a hobo simulator in which players start off as a penniless street bum and must work their way up the food chain to become “king of the streets” and “the most talented tramp in Paris.”
Trampgame invites virtual vagrants to attack other homeless folk, become a “peerless pickpocket,” steal coins from candy machines, public toilets and laundrettes, play instruments and choose pets in order to increase their success as beggars, and take control of their alcohol intake. It’s unfortunate that there is no English version, as it does sound as if hobocide can be committed in the game. Score!
Of course, because some people take the Internet too seriously (despite the Internet being serious business), charity organization the Red Cross is among those who have stepped in to criticize Trampgame:
“It’s a disgrace, it’s degrading, it’s humiliating to make the homeless the butt of derision. The image portrayed is exactly the one against which we’ve been trying to fight.”
Why are they so concerned? It’s not like homeless people have a computer to play it on.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorIt’s time for a sexy party!
Posted on September 2, 2009
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Ever wonder what we really do when we station ourselves in foreign countries?
Written by Bryan SchoolsTotally passing to @RandyMoss again
Posted on September 2, 2009
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Another season, another set of NFL rules that will change the game as we know it. This season, the boys on the field will not only have to subject themselves to such media scrutiny day after day, but they will no longer be able to update their Facebook status until a half an hour after the game. Same thing goes for all social media.
Great! Now how am I going to find out what Tom Brady is doing when he’s in the huddle? His Twitter page was rather dull last season (“Owww my knee hurts. FML.” “Lolzers, I can haz another pregnant super model.”) so I’ve been really excited for the beginning of the new season.
Find a way, Tom. Find a way.
Written by Bryan McBournie