Day: September 21, 2009

The McBournie Minute: History That Happened in the Past (1970-1979)

We have reached the third part in our ongoing series Better Know a Decade History That Happened in the Past. This time, we’re covering the 1970s. While technically The Sixties didn’t end until about 1973, it is still important to acknowledge that the 1970s were in fact a decade, a hairy, oversexed decade.

The good news was that all the assassinations and angry mobs were more or less over by the time the 1970s rolled around, thus, it was time for America to let other countries have a chance at scaring it senseless. All the while the U.S. rejoiced in the feeling that the Vietnam War was over, because allegedly it was.

Grab your polyester and hit the jump. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: History That Happened in the Past (1970-1979)

What Would You Do?

Also, 'butterscotch.'Let’s say you’re the questionably-reelected leader of a country that wants to develop nuclear technology.

Now let’s say the rest of the world is against that idea because you’re in missile range of a country that you and your government wish didn’t exist anymore.

Would you:

A. Show these world leaders plans for a nuclear-powered multicultural center, where children can learn peace and understanding about their neighbors, even though the Jews’ skin isn’t green like theirs?

B. At least pretend to believe that the Holocaust happened until you get the materials necessary to provide cheap energy for your country.

C. Deny the Holocaust, boasting that “the anger of professional killers is (a source of) pride for us” and add that this means Israel shouldn’t exist in the first place.

If you answered C, then you too could be the leader of nuke-free Iran!

TSA floods U.S. streets with dangerous weapons

You're only worth protecting if you've paid for airfare, citizen.Since Sept. 11, 2001, TSA has seized dangerous weapons–like pocket knives, nail clippers and miniature Louisville baseball bats–to protect flight crews and passengers from the very real threat of terrorism.

But what happens to these dangerous 3-ounce or larger liquids and other jihadist materials once seized? We’d like to think they’re analyzed by security and counterterrorism experts to predict and combat future attacks. Or even destroyed in the very same crucifices that brought terror into our world.

We’d like to think that, but that’s not the case. Instead, TSA gives them away to state agencies that sell them for cheap to retailers and on eBay.

So, just like how we sponsored the Mujahideen back in the 1980s, it’s only a matter of time before our corkscrews strike us when we least expect it. Thanks a lot, TSA.

Best. Prison break. EVER.

Fun Fact: If you ever decide to commit a crime, make sure it happens in Washington state. You’ll get a free trip on the tilt-a-whirl and all the funnel cake you can eat!

Republicans, Democrats, let us all come together! I think we can all agree that if you’re found not guilty by reason of insanity, you should not be allowed to ride the ferris wheel and eat a gigantic turkey leg. Or at the very least, not for murder.

For that you only get one fried twinkie and five minutes on the teacups.

Reunited and it doesn’t feel so good

Do you miss the Cold War? We know Russia does, we can guess the CIA does, and now we can say that 1/7 of Germany misses it too.

A recent survey found that about 15% of Germans want the Berlin Wall back in place, because they were better off when it was still standing in 1989 than they are now. The West is upset about spending so much to rebuild the East, and the East just missed having someone beat them up all the time.