Day: September 23, 2009

Take it from Snee: Kill the pandas

All will remember the 1600 or so!There are certain rights we expect. The right to live as we wish. The right to own property. The right to pursue Happiness, Sunshine or any other optimistically-named stripper. And, of course, the right to die as we wish.

The latter part has come up periodically over the past decade since Thomas Jefferson didn’t include “death” in the list of A Few of His Favourite Things. (Also left out: kittens, strudel, warm woolen mittens.)

We’ve jailed and early-released Jack Kevorkian, a former pathologist who helped dying people die on their own terms. We’ve removed, replaced and removed Terry Schiavo’s feeding tube until we finally stopped stringing her along and sent her to the happy walking trail upstairs.

So, if actions speak louder than wishy-washy, yet well-intentioned words, then we’ve effectively decided that we do have a right to die on our own terms, to “go out with our boots on.”

So, what about animals? Continue reading Take it from Snee: Kill the pandas

She knows the pen is mightier

The Guys would like to wish a happy 147th anniversary to Leo and Sophia Tolstoy.

Leo was introduced to Sophia (then) Behrs in 1862  when he was 34 and she was a red hot 18 years old. They married in September that year and had 12 freakin’ children. Had Sophia had her way, they could have had more sex, but Leo refused to use contraception.

As Leo became more and more of an anarchist Gloomy Gus, he left their estate and died on the road in 1910. So, she’s single and rich, gentlemen.

But, we leave it to you, Internet. Sophia Tolstoy: war or peace it?

Wii would like to bust your drugs

Guns drawn, cops busted down the door of a suspected south Florida drug dealer, then proceeded to rock it out – on Wii bowling. A security cam captured some playing video games while others searched for drugs and weapons.

A sheriff’s detective assigned to catalog the goods repeatedly bowled frames – and when she nailed strikes on two in a row, she raised her arms triumphantly, jumping and kicking.

Chiefs of police in three other jurisdictions forming the task force that performed the raid likewise bemoaned the bad publicity. But it could have been much worse than that. At least those two Japanese guys in the Nintendo commercials didn’t show up at the door while the cop was making some strikes.

Why is swine flu terrorism?

Swine flu, or H1N1, as it prefers to be called these days, is bad–yes, we’re going out on a limb here, but that’s just how we feel.

First off, it demands all kinds of air time on our new media. Now, it is demanding 900 million pounds–no, it’s money–or else they will kill millions of people. That, friends, is called extortion at the very least, but more accurately, terrorism.

Where is James Bond when we need him? Oh, he’s out sick.