Day: October 6, 2009

Eat My Sports: There’s only one Febtober

Everyone remembers the unforgettable “Celebrity Jeopardy” performances on SNL. There’s a “sword” comment one way or another in any conversation involving Sean Connery, it’s undeniable. My personal favorite was the skit where “Months That End In ‘tober'” is answered with a buzz and on cue “FEBTOBER!!!” delivered by Darell Hammond as the bearded Connery. Some of you may remember me starting writing about the 2009 MLB season way back in early February, and that got me thinking…

Febtober is the perfect way to describe a truly avid baseball fan’s passion for watching every pitch, agonizing over every box score, and blowing every loss out of proportion. While the casual sports’ fans were watching the NFL draft, we were watching pitch counts. When you were watching the Los Angeles Kobes, we were scrutinizing slugging percentages. And while you were debating whether Rafael Nadal would look better with a shorter haircut, we were debating whether or not Cliff Lee or Roy Halladay would make the better late season pitching acquisition. Continue reading Eat My Sports: There’s only one Febtober

And Geraldo speaks for the mustachioed

CNN correspondent Soledad O’Brien is well known for being multi-racial. So it makes sense that O’Brien will now be exploring the lives of mixed-race people and their heritage. You’ve gotta like CNN’s approach to coverage. They have Asian people talk about North Korea, Christiane Amanpour covers the Middle East, Roland Martin covers black people, and Lou Dobbs covers crazy old men.

This approach makes total sense, because we all know that reporters can’t actually figure out a story unless it in some way reflects their background. We can’t expect reporters of a different background to be able to report about something that might require some digging, after all.

FOX News also employs this technique by using its army of angry white guys and young blonde women to explore their own cultures.

Human meat is grrrrreat!

Stop me if you’ve heard this one.

So, a man walks into a tiger cage … and gets badly hurt. Bad joke? Real life can be that way.

A man snuck into the Calgary Zoo early in the morning with a friend. He then scaled the fence and climbed into an exhibit with Siberian tiger. Because, y’know, that must be a smart idea in Canada or something. Anyone from The Great North know what “Hey ya’ll, watch this” translates into?

People, we’re in a war. If you’re going to turn yourself into a martyr, then at least bring some bombs or something with you.

Where’s our free s#%t?

SG and FTC: A winning combination? Think it over, The Man.So, the FTC is cracking down on blogs and twitter users that do not disclose that they were paid or given free swag in return for favorable “reviews.” From here on out, those lucky bastards are required to place a disclaimer somewhere in the entry.

Rest assured that SeriouslyGuys has never participated in this practice, even though we would be totally awesome at it. We’ve even practiced by making fake advertisements and sponsored posts, but no one wants four guys to team up on marketing condoms or oven cleaner.

But, you know, we guess that’s the price we pay for integrity … and by price, we mean our own hosting and domain fees.

Nothing yummy shall come from this

In the Bible, it’s written that the meek shall inherit the Earth. But they’ll have to inherit it without delicious homemade cupcakes and fried apple pies. At least, if they happen to be the meek of New York City.

New York City’s Education Department has made rulings that no bake sales can take place at schools. This all falls under a new series of changes regarding vending machines and student run stores, and since no takes the time to create their own specialized nutritional value charts for each individual muffin, all the better to just ban it, right? Remember, it’s all to help out the children!

Don’t worry, though. It’s now being advised that kids can raise money for school events or team needs by instead selling items like t-shirts and key chains. After all, those are totally top sellers in high schools! Everyone loves those little wacky eyed key chains, right?

Can we end this stupid vampire trend already?

It’s October, and fall is in the air. But in Ohio, there is more than just that. There is also apparently some *sigh* vampirical vapors in the area.

In a Halloween-themed wedding, a 61-year-old and a 44-year-old got married. The bride and groom were married dressed like vampires. They even had the ceremony at a haunted house.

“Holsinger arrived in a coffin inside a hearse, and the coffin was carried to the altar by six pallbearers. Minister Greg Kopp was dressed as Jason in the Friday the 13th movies.”

Ug. What is it with old people these days.