Day: October 8, 2009

MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Ring 2’

I remember years ago that when I first heard the term ‘sequel-itis’, I took it as a good thing. I mean, I love the Friday the 13th movies, the Evil Dead movies, where would Star Wars be without Empire, The Godfather without Godfather 2 and imagine a world without Dawn of the Dead. It’s very scary.

While watching The Ring 2 however, I realized something. Sequel-itis is a bad thing. It is a disease, a scourge, and this film suffers from it, badly. Sometimes it is better to leave a good story alone, and only make a sequel if you have another story to tell. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Ring 2’

Old language dies hard

Coming Soon: The SG flash game, "Pelosi Gavel Rampage!"Members of the National Republican Congressional Committee showed their old-timey hands in a press release this week.

The congresspeople condemned House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s thoughts about Afghanistan, stating that they “could only hope [Gen. Stanley A.] McCrystal is able to put her in her place” [emphasis ours].

This raises several questions:

1. What is Speaker Pelosi’s place? Is it to vote with Republicans? That wouldn’t make sense. Could it be back in California where she wouldn’t be the Speaker of the House anymore? Or would they be safer if she was in her kitchen?

2. Why does she need to go wherever her place is? Did she interrupt a man? Show a little too much spunk? Is it her “time of the month,” which is totally gross to think about?

3. Why can’t the Republican side of congress put her in “her place” themselves? Why do they need to bother the commander of U.S. troops in Afghanistan? Or is she too much woman for pansy-ass civilians to handle?

Everyone I know is a fat, diseased libertarian, just like me

We’ve got some bad news for you health nuts who hang out with morbidly obese/ diseased people to make yourself feel better (there are some out there, right?), it turns out you aren’t what you eat, you are who you hang out with.

That goes for your political views, your weight, and–wait for it–whether you have an STD. Best of all, you don’t even have to see these people very often, you just need to interact with them in some manner, like the Internet.

The Guys want to be your friend. We’re clean. We swear.

Man regrows skull, still has soft spot

Fifty years ago, Gordon Moore lost part of his skull in a car accident, and as a result, had to have a metal plate inserted around his skull. He then managed to dent the plate in another car crash three years later. This week, his doctors were rather surprised when they removed his metal plate to find his skull completely intact.

Note: there is no word on if he happens to have any claws made of bone located around his wrists.

Next we can spread rumors about them

Most animals don’t understand English (in fact, many speak Spanish), so we need to find other means of communication with them. Luckily for us, communicating during a time of war is as simple as a barrel of a gun. But sometimes it just won’t do to shoot the animal in question.

Such is the case in Colorado, where wildlife officers in Estes Park are dealing with a large crop of aggressive male elk. They can’t simply shoot all of them; what state can pay for all those bullets in this economy? So instead, they are doing the next best thing: sawing off their antlers.

Sometimes humiliating the enemy is more satisfying than killing him.