The McBournie Minute: ‘I see the moon, the moon sees me’
Posted on October 12, 2009
Filed Under McBournie Minute | 2 Comments |
For the most part, space really hasn’t been that exciting in a long time. Sure, there has been some attention paid when a new rover lands on Mars, or there is a tragedy, or we send John Glenn up into orbit again. But really, we just don’t care about space the way we did in the 1950s and 1960s.
That is until recently.
NASA brought us into yet another interstellar war last Friday morning when it bombed the moon. They “claim” it was to see if the debris kicked up by the impact could prove that the moon was, in fact, made of cheese, but the Internet knows better. It always does. That is why we live in the Porn Information Age. The age of citizen journalism. The age when you don’t need any fancy pants “credibility” or “evidence” to support your claims. Bearing this in mind, here is what really happened to the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter. Read more
Written by Bryan McBournieIt takes balls to get to bottom of Loch Ness
Posted on October 12, 2009
Filed Under WE DID IT!, War on Animals | 2 Comments |
Loch Ness, fabled home to Nessie, an alleged prehistoric monster that occasionally reveals herself to drunk Scotsmen, is home to an historic find: balls. Lots and lots of balls.
No, we don’t mean that she, Nessie, is actually a he, but that we may not be able to find her because locals having been using the Loch for years as a driving range. Thousands of golf balls litter the floor as far out as 300 yards from the beach.
After a constant bombardment of golf balls, and a lake of recent sightings, SeriouslyGuys has the balls evidence to officially declare Nessie dead. Good going, Scots. Maybe you can start hunting down Bigfoots (Bigfeet?).
It’s either that or, if the submarine expeditions can find something as small as golf balls, could it be that the giant dinosaur doesn’t exist?
Written by Rick SneeWhen you have no other option
Posted on October 12, 2009
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
A 21-year-old Kansas man has been arrested after being so smashed, that he believed stealing an ambulance was his only means of getting home. It’s moments like these where we’d like to encourage you to be aware of your surroundings before making bad decisions. In this case you should hydrate yourself with one of the IVs available to you in the unattended ambulance, some people just don’t think.
Written by Bryan SchoolsStarcraft continues to be serious business
Posted on October 12, 2009
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
A wonky Internet hookup is said to have triggered a Swedish Starcraft enthusiast’s random knife attack of a 15-year-old girl. Because, you know, that’s a logical conclusion to make.
Accordingly, the unnamed 18-year-old assailant “became angry when his internet connection wouldn’t work.” He then consulted a troubleshooting manual which apparently told him to grab a knife and go outside, as that will solve everything. There he attacked a 15-year-old girl “who was on her way home from a party and laughing with a friend.” Take that, you inconsiderate individual having fun times!
Her injuries were not life threatening. Mister Stabby was sentenced to psychiatric care.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorLove means never having to sign another treaty
Posted on October 12, 2009
Filed Under Scurry (Politics) | Leave a Comment |
Love. It’s the same all over the world. Unfortunately, so are the downsides of relationships, like break ups (and children).
Imagine two lovers joined together as one, as they had for many, many years. The man starts becoming more and more abusive, so the woman declares herself independent of the man and wins her battle. As with some break ups, the two can’t remain away for too long and start fighting again, with no change in the outcome.
Many years later, the woman comes to the man’s rescue, in the process becoming more powerful than she had ever thought she could become. Now the man sees the woman for her strong, feminine power and respects her for it. In truth, he does pretty much whatever she says.
The man in this story is the British Empire and the strong, empowered woman is the U.S. In case you were wondering the two lovers today are still friends with benefits.
Written by Bryan McBournie