Ice measurements? Science? Math? Puh-lease

Posted on October 15, 2009
Filed Under It Must Be Science!, War on Animals | 1 Comment |

Cool people don't understand wind chill. GET IT?! So, apparently, a group of bleeding heart liberal pussies took a day hike up to the Arctic Circle to prove their religious beliefs about global warming.

They made a bunch of measurements and found that the majority of the ice is first year ice and, on average, only 1.8 meters thick. Well, now they’re having a hissy because, according to their “water knowledge,” most of that ice won’t survive the next several summers and the caps will be virtually ice-free within the next 20 years.

Pfft. Puh-lease. Other things an ’80s Valley Girl would say.

Look, this in no way proves that global warming is real. It just means that God forgot to refill the world’s ice trays. Just have the Pope leave a stern, but polite note on the barber pole next to Santa’s Village and let’s get back to pantsing Europeans.

This Week’s Poll
Polar bears are invading North American territory for unexplained reasons. Should we:

a) Send them back to their steamy Arctic bath? (You’re welcome, ingrates.)

b) Arrest them for suspected ties to Vladimir Putin?

c) Draft them and send them to Afghanistan?

Written by Rick Snee