You Missed It: Indoor sports edition

Posted on October 30, 2009
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For children, Halloween is a time to learn how to beg properly in a recession, for many adults, it is a time to dress up in skanky outfits and get totally wasted. For me, it’s a living hell. You see, I have samhainophobia–better known as fear of Halloween. If you were busy pitching for too long in Game 2 of the World Series, odds are you missed it.

Lobbywalkers need some lobbyists fast
Rhode Island was founded by religious activists who were too strict even for the Puritans. Today it is only slightly less devout. That’s why the state is trying to close a legal loophole that allows prostitutes to sell their goods indoors. You know, because if you pick up a hooker, you don’t want her to have been inhaling car fumes on a street corner all night.

If the climate were really changing, wouldn’t angels come down and tell us so?
A survey recently found that fewer people are convinced that global warming is real. This should not come as a shock to anyone, because we all hear those people who think a cold snap is enough proof to negate against decades of scientific evidence. To be fair, when the winter comes, more people are likely to believe in Santa Claus.

The repairs aren’t working
The Bay Bridge in San Francisco closed for repairs this week after steel cables and debris broke off during a morning rush hour. The accident occurred only days after repairs had been done on the bridge. In other news, Oakland Raiders attendance is not expected to be hurt.

Written by Bryan McBournie