Take it from Snee for Christmas, Hanukah, etc.
Posted on November 4, 2009
Filed Under Take it from Snee | Leave a Comment |
Halloween is less than a week into the ground, which means that it’s already Christmas in the malls and strip clubs of America. (Sure, they say “holidays,” but the only store with blue lights is K-Mart.) Why do they start so early? Because some people actually buy gifts that early. Crazy, I know?
The rest of us wait until the last minute because, well, giving isn’t about me. The only thing I give on a regular occasion is this column. But, as I mentioned before, I’m trying to be a better person … at least until I get my presents. So, in this vein, I’m trying to say that it is always better to give than receive, even if the other person doesn’t really want it.
What I’m talking about are gifts that make you feel good for giving them, but the receiver never wanted. Call ‘em gag gifts or messages, who cares? You gave, and now you feel better. Read more
Written by Rick SneeGot any plans for Feb. 25?
Posted on November 4, 2009
Filed Under Scurry (Politics) | Leave a Comment |
THURSDAY! THURSDAY! THURSDAY!
February 25, 2010 (pronounced “twenty-ten”) the Decider, the Executioner-in-Chief, the Iraqi Hurt Locker, former two-term questionable election champion, George “Dubya” Bush will be in an “uncensored, unedited and unpredictable” “no-holds-barred” debate …
…against the Chubby Chaser, the Silver-Tongued Diablo de NAFTA, also a former two-term champion, Bill “The Inhaler” Clinton!
The event will occur at Radio City Music Hall in the Fightin’ Manhattan district of Fightin’ New York City, right under where they shoot the Fightin’ Saturday Night Live!
No rules! No cop-outs! Two elder statesmen will enter, and both will leave under heavy security!
THURSDAY! THURSDAY! THURSDAY!
BE THERE!
Konami code does not equal 12 step program
Posted on November 4, 2009
Filed Under What a Reach! | Leave a Comment |
If you declare it an affliction, they will come.
Where there is a trendy new affliction, there is an expert with the answer. Thus it is that Britain became now host to the very first “game addiction” clinic in Weston-super-Mare, Somerset.
Broadway Lodge treats about four hundred patients every year for drug abuse, alcoholism and gambling problems, but has recently extended its reach to video games, adopting the Minnesota Method Twelve-Step program to ween youngsters off those crazy video games.
“… I would stick my neck out and say between five and ten per cent of parents or partners would say they know of someone addicted to an online game,” says chief executive Brian Dudley. “However, you can’t simply say to a 23-year-old male ‘you should never use the Internet again’. It’s just not practical. So we go through all the issues surrounding gaming use and ensure there are triggers through which an addict recognizes their usage has become a problem.
And your reasoning being?
”Behavioural shifts include users becoming aggressive, with chaotic lifestyles that result in irregular eating and sleeping patterns as well as social exclusion. I don’t know anybody else who is treating such cases in this country. There’s no helpline.”
If you live in Britain and can’t stop playing World of Warcraft, then you can breathe a sigh of relief because help has finally arrived. And then we will laugh at you.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorCan’t escape the long arm of the law
Posted on November 4, 2009
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
You know what’s a great animal to have at a petting zoo? An alligator. It’s an even better idea to have the gator around children.
A Florida wildlife officer brought in a gator to show off at his daughter’s school for show and tell. Then the gator got away. Whoops. Luckily, officials now think they have caught the bastard, who was probably waiting in a nearby pond to eat an unsuspecting student.
By the way, who knew gators could jump?
Written by Bryan McBournie