You Missed It: Muy triste edition
Posted on November 13, 2009
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It’s Friday the 13th, you know what that means–it means tomorrow is Saturday the 14th! It is also the holiday season, and I know all of you are planning to get me something, please feel free to email me for gift ideas. If you were busy throwing five picks in a game, odds are you missed it.
Dobbs out
In a surprise move, CNN anchorperson Lou Dobbs announced on his show “Lou Dobbs Tonight” (what are the odds someone named Lou Dobbs would get a show named that, huh?) that he would be leaving CNN at the end of the broadcast Wednesday night. Dobbs was known for his economic views, his conservative stance on illegal immigration and his trademark signoff, “Adios, muchachos!”
Prepare to be Palinized
Remember Sarah Palin? She’s back with her new book, Going Rogue, which was leaked this week. In it, Palin gives her point of view on the feud with the McCain campaign and Katie Couric. The most shocking revelation of the book: her forbidden tryst with then Sen. Joe Biden.
Hey, it beats having a team in Phoenix
NASA announced that not only was the moon bombing successful, but it helped uncover lunar ice. This is an amazing scientific discovery, because, well, I have no idea. However, it increases hockey’s chance as the first sport to be played on the moon.
Ask Dr. Snee: Who’s gonna pay for this abortion?
Posted on November 13, 2009
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Good day, eh? (I’m practicing my Canadian for when the country becomes socialist and I’m forced to flee.)
Anyway, I know I just gave you medical advice on Wednesday, so you’re probably wondering what this is all aboo–ahem, about.
As a doctor, I’m concerned about health care. As a male, I’m concerned with not being a father while I still have boat payments to make.
Right now, those two concerns are hand-in-hand, making a wringing motion so fierce that I won’t have the wrist strength to masturbate later. Read more
Written by Rick SneeGot a little originality in you?
Posted on November 13, 2009
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NFL critics be damned! Don’t worry Philadelphia Eagles, we appreciate you combining booze and sports.
Written by Bryan SchoolsWii would like to not get caught on camera
Posted on November 13, 2009
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Remember the law enforcement professionals down in Florida who killed time on a drug raid by bowling up big scores on a drug kingpin’s Wii? Well, 11 of them got sanctioned for their conduct. Of course, not that badly, mind you.
All of them, whose names aren’t being published because they were working undercover, got reassignments and retraining. Nobody lost their job, which probably is fair enough. It was embarrassing as you can believe to the Polk County Drug Task Force but, despite the pleading of the kingpin’s lawyer, their conduct did not invalidate the search.
Caught in the blast: six detectives, a deputy, and four sergeants. The detectives got “a letter of retraining” and “two hours of retraining.” The supervising sergeants got a “letter of guidance” and “four hours of retraining.”
Retraining? Like what, how to put better spin on the Wiimote?
Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor‘V’ actually stands for ‘Vatican’
Posted on November 13, 2009
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The Catholic Church is looking into the possibility of life on other planets and how it could impact their understanding of God.
Pope Benedict XVI must have just read Chariots of Fire or something, because this isn’t really a new concept. While very little about aliens is mentioned in the Bible, this could help explain some of the more supernatural happenings. Perhaps instead of looking for angels, we should be looking for evidence of Biblical alien abductions.
As for the probings, well you can just investigate that one on your own.
Written by Bryan McBournie