Day: November 17, 2009

Eat My Sports: Bizzaro Manning

Did you ever read the “Bizzaro World” DC Comics series? Or how about the short lived “What If?” series that Marvel came out with? If you said “yes” to any of these, you’re a dork, and you’re just like me.

Twelve seasons into the Peyton Manning regime in Indianapolis, Manning is poised to break every quarterback record there is. But many people forget that before the 1998 draft, the Colts had a very hard decision to make, Manning or Ryan Leaf? From where we stand now it seems simple, but what if their fortunes had been traded … I wonder …

The Ryan Leaf side
After showing the Colts a huge amount of poise and maturity, the Colts select Leaf with the number one overall pick in the 1998 NFL Draft. Keeping his pill-popping a secret, Leaf graciously accepts his number 16 Colts jersey. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Bizzaro Manning

Wake us up when it’s 2010

Well, it’s mid-November, which means we can retire the “Scurry” tag until next year …

… Or can we?

Yes, folks, it’s not reality television an election unless there are recounts! The snoozer of a race that attracted the attention of teabaggers, Sarah Palin and other political celebutards in New York’s 23rd District is not over.

Upon learning that there are still mail-in ballots to be counted, Conservative Party candidate Doug Hoffman “un-conceded“ on Glenn Beck’s radio show. (Unlike his television show, the sound of his tear drops must be imitated in the studio with a sponge and a pail of water.)

If this race gets overturned, then black is white, up is down and the Republican Party still lost.

We’re more proud of those that “teddu rooseveltu”

In SG moonspeak, that means to “kill bears without provocation and be damn well known for it.”

Not Japan, though. They love them some Obama. How much do they love him? Enough to give him his own verb.

Obamu: v. To proceed optimistically despite challenging obstacles.

Apparently, mind you, this sort of thing isn’t unheard of. Back when President Bush (Dana Carvey edition) went and visited Japan, he lost a tennis match to Emperor Hirohito and later that evening at a dinner party, he bushu suru: vomited in public.

Of course, these words never really made it into the public’s lexicon, as most people have never even heard the terms, just mainly college students, where the phrase “obamu” is supposed to be popular. Starting out by being passed around in a Kyoto University mailer, the made up word was then mentioned on Twitter. All of one grand time. That’s apparently enough to initiate societal change among young adults. Should we begin to use the word more often and keep it alive? Or should we believe in the ability to change it?

Heh. Bushu suru.

Burn your own incense

Do you like God but don’t want the hassle of getting up early on Sundays? Are you a douche who thinks his iPhone can really do anything? You’re not alone!

Online church-going is becoming a new trend in giving praise. But you know, it’s really cool because, like, you can talk about God with people around the world, instead of those jerks who go to your church.

Best part, you can go to church sitting in the same chair as you look at porn.