The key question about The Men Who Stare at Goats is not whether it is true (it totally is though it allegedly is).
The key question is whether it will make you laugh.
No allegedly about it-it will. Oh, how it will. Click the jump to see why. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Men Who Stare at Goats’
Flights across the country were delayed by a problem with the FAA’s computers in Salt Lake City and Atlanta. Air traffic controllers were forced to enter flight plans by hand until the systems could be brought back online.
When we asked FAA officials, “The computers? What is it?” they responded, “They’re boxes full of chips and circuits that use a binary language to perform advanced calculations in the blink of an eye … but that’s not important right now.”
The Guys took some pictures and left, knocking over a row of phone booths to call in this story.
Hand-charted flights, phone booths, actual human reporting …. All in all, everyone had a wonderful time reliving the 1970s.
Libby’s Pumpkin, the company that brings all that delicious canned pumpkin filling which is then put into the delicious foods that are pumpkin anything, fears that it might not have enough canned pumpkin for the Thanksgiving holiday.
“Our calculations indicate that we may deplete our inventory of canned Libby’s pumpkin as we approach the Thanksgiving holiday,” Paul Bakus, vice president for Nestlé’s baking division, told the New York Times.
Commercial pumpkin-producers in Midwestern states blame the shortage on heavy rains and thus overly wet fields. With little back-up supply from a lackluster 2008 pumpkin harvest, West Coast organic pumpkin growers are trying to fill the void.
Now are the end times, ladies and gentlemen. It would not be out of line for you to throw your hands up in the air and scream in horror. I know that I am.
Call us crazy, MSNBC, but at least when we go writing about dead people, or people’s problems with them in their families, at least we use the right tense. Wasn’t that future right, Janet Jackson?
Animals are not human. That is one of the biggest things that separates us from the animals (the biggest: we are able to update our Facebook status).
But in Alaska, the humans are often surrounded by animals, so they form illegal bonds, and start attaching human characteristics to them. That is why this story claims birds are “mourning” the death of some ravens. This simply isn’t true.
Sure, some ravens got zapped on a power line, but that was intentional. We wanted the other birds to swoop in and see what happened. We wanted them to know that we assassinated those birds and the same thing would happen to them, too, unless they stayed the hell away from our children, our homes and our cars.
