The McBournie Minute: Winter colds, and the children that cause them
Posted on December 7, 2009
Filed Under McBournie Minute | 3 Comments |
With the health care bill now being debated in the U.S. Senate (take a walk with me, it will be entertaining, I promise) and winter now upon us, there is a lot of talk about how to keep healthy despite colds, H1N1 and children that want us out of the way so that they can eat all the candy they want.
Right now I have a cold, but that is fairly unusual for me. You see, I have what is called a strong immune system (which female can detect through their sense of smell, so you’re just going to have to trust me on this one). Right now I have The Thing That’s Going Around. You know, the nose, the throat, the cough. It sucks.
So I’m here this week to give you a few pointers on how to stay healthy, and should you fail at this, get better soon. You’re welcome, America. Read more
Written by Bryan McBournieWe’ve learned nothing from ‘The Usual Suspects’
Posted on December 7, 2009
Filed Under Facepalm, Headline of the Day | Leave a Comment |
So, in any prisoner transfer, you’d figure there’s a pretty intense search of the convict: mouth, clothing, probably even their anus … You’d think there’d also be a test for mobility.
The escapist had even previously used the wheelchair, which he ran out of during his escape, to pin his wife against a wall and stab her with a makeshift knife.
Maybe add a kick to the legs or even a tickle test, that’s all we’re saying.
Written by Rick SneeDid they try ‘sexting’ their kids?
Posted on December 7, 2009
Filed Under Facepalm, Sex Sells | Leave a Comment |
According to a Harvard study, more than 40 percent of parents wait until it’s too late to have “The Talk” with their kids. Two-thirds of sons reported having sex before discussing proper condom use with their parents, which means that few bananas have been wasted with spermicide and a lot of elbows were very protected. One-fourth of polled daughters never learned about saying no, which is good for teenage boys and high school teachers, but bad for at least appearances’ sake.
The scary part? The study consisted of a survey of only 141 parents, who were enrolled in a program called “Talking Parents,” which was meant to help them discuss birds and bees and why we don’t have sex with them, but each other. Yet, they still waited until it was too late.
Coupled with the past eight years of abstinence-only sex education, it’s amazing that Photoshop hasn’t added a “Herpes Wand” tool for school picture touch-ups.
So now, the recommended age to begin talking to your children about sex is always. When your toddler notices things in the bathtub, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do. When they’re watching The Piano for their fourth grade movie review, explain what a Harvey Keitel is to them. And when they’re going to their first dance, make sure they know all the lyrics to “The Humpty Dance.”
This is a full-out pop culture assault. If they’re not gonna read a book vampire book with sex, then you’ve got to step up.
Written by Rick SneeHello occifer
Posted on December 7, 2009
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
Drunk dials are all good and fun until somebody gets their eye poked out, or calls the police because they were “just drunk.” We salute you Mr. Unnamed man from Murfreesboro, Tennessee, no one chould be safe from your cell phone when you’re tying one on, not even the law.
Written by Bryan SchoolsCrazy grannies want to tag your building
Posted on December 7, 2009
Filed Under That Wacky Australia | Leave a Comment |
In most countries, graffiti means spray paint and some letters that are barely legible to the average person. But in Australia, it can also mean knitting up some sweet sweaters to cover random objects.
It’s a trend that’s gaining popularity around the world. Guerrilla knitters are putting their colorful yet itchy messages all over walls, posts, vehicles and more. Unfortunately, it’s easy to catch these pranksters, because it takes hours to knit these things and you have to be physically there there whole time, humming and hoping you don’t stick yourself.
Written by Bryan McBournie