Day: December 14, 2009

The McBournie Minute: Don’t let the holidays be ‘The Matrix’ 2 and 3

The holidays are upon us, and that means everyone’s got their hopes up. They’re all filled with Christmas cheer and the thoughts of great things around the corner. They can’t wait to sit down with family next to a roaring fire as everyone dives for presents under the Christmas tree. Then they remember that they don’t even have a fireplace.

Americans usually love to see things go horribly wrong, to watch heroes fall and to say that they saw it coming the whole time. But for some reason, this time of year makes people forget all their experiences and wish for the best, only to have their hopes dashed when the momentous day finally arrives.

Why is this? Because we all let our hopes get risen to unrealistic levels, and it’s the entertainment industry that does it to us–and Norman f&%$ing Rockwell. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Don’t let the holidays be ‘The Matrix’ 2 and 3

First Favre, next teens

Flava Flav asks the latter question every time he wakes up.

The Guys like to think that we not only keep our fingers on the pulse of pop culture and youth, but that we also forecast emerging trends and try to push them into the public arena.

From Irish chic to pirates and ninjas to vampires and werewolves, we’ve followed along. We even had our list of contenders for 2011, including:

  • News Reporters (e.g., a sparkling Brian Williams in every locker) — Bryan McBournie
  • Daleks and the Japanese — Chugs Taylor
  • The Pittsburgh Steelers — Bryan Schools
  • Soviet Cowboys — Rick Snee and the Markettron 2000 2100

Boy, did we not see Vikings. Way to scoop us, MTV.

Old people kill the darndest things

I must warn you: this is an old story.

We’ve seen many a story here on SG involving the death of people, but rarely do we see a story with a discrepancy in age this close to each other.

Or, for that matter, when the persons involved are a 98 year old and a centenarian.

Laura Lundquist is accused of killing her 100 year old roommate, Elizabeth Barrow, over a table.

Barrow complained that the table obstructed her path to the bathroom, authorities said. When a nurse’s aide moved it, Lundquist punched the aide and grumbled that her roommate “might as well have the whole room,”

Because, you know,98 year olds are known for their devastating arm strength. We give the story two months before ABC revises their “Horrors of Nursing Homes” 20/20 report to include this new “shocking revelation.”

The teachers went wild for the tongue

Remember your favorite band in middle school? How awesome would it be if you could have met them while you were at the top of your obsession with them? Unfortunately, that didn’t happen at Wilson Middle School in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Instead, in what we can assume is straight out of Rick Snee’s wet dream, KISS showed up.

Yes, the whole band was there. Gene Simmons! Paul Stanley! Tommy Thayer? Eric Singer? The stunt was part of a segment for ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, where we assume KISS rocked someone’s house down so that the annoyingly cheerful people on the show could build a new one. The appearance was a total shock and $100,000 worth of new musical instruments were donated to the school.

Paul Stanley made a presentation to the audience. He began his speech with, “HELLO, WILSON MIDDLE SCHOOL! Are you ready to rock ‘n roll all night, and party everyday? *Ahem* When you’re not working hard on homework, that is.”

Both the band and the students left on buses.