Day: December 18, 2009

You Missed It: Blue Christmas edition

Apologies for the lateness of this post, if you live on the East Coast, you may understand. There’s apparently a big snow storm coming our way and that means that people feel they need to evacuate town several hours ahead of time–and hit each other before a single flake falls. Despite this, it’s a good day, because it’s Friday. If you were busy finding a new, huge planet with water on it, odds are you missed it.

James Cameron emerges from his cave
Avatar hit theaters Thursday night, or is it Friday morning? You know the movie with the blue people and the computer graphics that no one has any idea what it’s about? Yes, it’s finally here, and it’s making a fair amount of money. The movie features 3-D effects, so personally, I’m ready to put this one on par with Beowulf with a slight chance of nausea.

Pretty soon they’ll be learning to write
Scientists discovered that a species of octopus already known about now apparently knows how to use tools. The octopus was discovered using coconut shells to protect itself from predators, hiding inside the shells. In related news, scientists have discovered that octopus with coconut makes a delightful meal.

You better watch out
President Barack Obama was interviewed by Gloria Estefan (?) this week. He said the White House is getting ready for Christmas and will be prepared for the magical night when Santa Claus comes to the nation’s capital. He even said they will be setting out milk and cookies for Chris Kringle himself. Considering the security at the White House these days, Santa will probably be able to walk through the front door and no one will see him.

Happiness is a state (no, really)

The CDC has conducted a survey over the past four years, poling (heh) over 1.3 million people to learn if they’re happy. (Before you suddenly fiscal conservatives go crazy, remember: four years ago.)

Organized by state, it appears that Louisiana is numbah one.

Of course, part of their data was collected before Hurricane Katrina, and part of it afterwards, yet they still managed to average happiest over states like Florida, Hawaii and Wyoming, which everyone knows is called “the Happy State.”

Factors that raised states like Hawaii and Florida to the top and states like New Jersey and Antipathy (a secret volcanic island off the Jersey Shore where the government tests wild dog repellent on newborns) included climate, crime rates, air quality and schools.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a news story about a study unless someone reached startlingly untenable conclusions based on research that wasn’t present and ignores the other 48 states in between the top and bottom results: the USA Today believes faith is the the reason why Louisianna beat out New York. Well, you know what they say about ignorance.

We can’t recommend joining the club

Have you seen the stewardesses on flights lately? Night flights and sleep masks have never been a better pair of ideas.

You know who else shares that opinion? Richard Branson, owner of Virgin Atlantic Airways. But that’s probably more because the idea has begun to be forced upon him. Of course, you’d have the idea forced upon you too if you lost a bet.

Richard Branson and Tony Fernandes, owner of AirAsia, have recently decided to host F1 racing teams, and in the spirit of competition and being gajillionaires, the two have decided that whoever’s team finishes worst than the other, the owner will work as a stewardess (not a steward, mind you) on the winner’s airline.

We can’t wholeheartedly recommend following suit by taking part in a bet like Branson did, mainly due to we just don’t look that good at all in a dress (though Rick Snee does look absolutely fabulous in a shiny pair of pumps).

In China, The Guys would be CEOs

A policeman in China was called a martyr after he died in what his captain said was the line of duty. As it turns out, he died after getting smashed. No, we’re not making fun of that.

What is funny is that this uncovers a culture of competitive drinking for business purposes in China. The culture, called ganbei, is how business is done in Red China. Businessmen meet for banquets to discuss matters, and try to out drink each other in order to get concessions from the other.

It’s so common that injuries and deaths are often classified as “workplace injuries.”