Day: December 24, 2009

MasterChugs Theater: ‘A Christmas Story’

Congratulations. If you’ve made it this far, you’re now reading about what is my absolute favorite Christmas movie of all time. And speaking of reading, let’s get on with the review.

For the uninitiated, A Christmas Story ranks as the best holiday movie ever, better than Scrooged, better than A Christmas Carol (pick a variety), better even than It’s a Wonderful Life. Based on the book In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash by Jean Shepherd, it’s a period piece set in roughly 1940, telling a series of vignettes about a young boy that’s 9 years old in the weeks leading up to Christmas. He faces down bullies, witnesses a dare match over whether a tongue will stick to a frozen metal pole, gets his mouth washed out with soap, and sees the holiday turkey devoured by dogs… and all he wants is a BB gun! But as everyone tells him, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!”

And with that line, the movie went down into the annals of pop culture. But, there’s more to the film than just quotable dialogue. What makes this film so good? Hit the jump to find out why.  Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘A Christmas Story’

Raise alert to ELFCON One or Five (whichever’s highest)

As you are probably aware, the North American Aerospace Defense Command tracks Santa’s movements on Christmas Eve. But, haven’t you ever wondered why?

According to NORAD’s Web site:

“On Dec. 24, 1955, a call was made to the Continental Air Defense Command (CONAD) Operations Center in Colorado Springs, Colo. […] It was from a girl in Colorado Springs who was following the directions in an advertisement printed in the local paper – she wanted to know the whereabouts of Santa Claus. […] However, the number was printed incorrectly in the advertisement and rang into the CONAD operations center.

“[…] Colonel Shoup received numerous calls that night and rather than hanging up, he had his operators find the location of Santa Claus and reported it to every child who phoned in that night.”

That’s a nice story. But, we all know the government doesn’t care about children. That’s why they hide Easter eggs in the lawn instead of handing them out.

No, this is just to keep tabs on magic people. We’re watching you, Santa. And don’t think we won’t notice if you drop off any “gifts” to Pyongyang or Tehran.

(Via Brand X and Wikipedia.)

They’ve got spirit, yes they do

So, you think you’ve got Christmas spirit, eh? With your giant nativity scene, Night Elf Mohawk ears and Ralphie bunny suit, do ya?

Well, just like everything else you endeavor in life, an astronaut’s got you beat.

Astronauts aboard the space station get not one, but two (TWO) Christmases. No, they’re not all the children of broken marriages. They celebrate the real one on December 25 and then the Russian one on Jan. 7 where everyone exchanges the same exact present.

(Hope you like vodka rations.)

Two Christmases may seem like a good idea, especially when you’re flying, but we’ve heard this all before: