Day: January 8, 2010

You Missed It: Gilbert’s got a gun edition

Hello again, everyone, and welcome to 2010. I’ve been waiting here for you for quite some time. Now that I have thawed my keyboard out in this country-wide cold snap we’re having. I am now prepared to tell you what you missed this year, one week at a time. If you were busy announcing you would not run for re-election, odds are you missed it.

The NRA should take on the NBA
The Washington Wizards’ Gilbert Arenas was suspended by the NBA this week after showing a gun in his locker to a teammate. In what may have been his last game of the season, Arenas gathered the team (the Bullets) in a circle during warm-ups and shot them all with his fingers. NBA Commissioner David Stern did not enjoy the gun show.

The case in favor of sterilization
Tila Tequila, who became “famous” for her MySpace page, and then later for being an attention/ actual whore on reality television shows, might be pregnant, according to her Twitter. Should Tequila actually be pregnant, there is no word yet on how long it will take her to push the child out of her Twitter.

They’ve weaved stranger things into the plot
White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said that President Barack Obama’s State of the Union Address will not pre-empt the season premiere of Lost. He assured the legions of Lost fans that the speech will not happen on Feb. 2, the date the show is scheduled to return. In other news, this is really what our country finds important.

You wouldn’t think 9/11 is news …

… but despite the country song about Afghanistan Iraq Iran Yemen, some prominent Republicans have forgotten.

So, to help Dana Perino and now Rudy “9/11” Giuliani have a new story to react to, SeriouslyGuys is posting the following news announcement:

Terrorists attacked three important U.S. landmarks with hijacked commercial aircraft: the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and Pennsylvania grassland on September 11, 2001 under President George W. Bush and New York City Mayor, Rudolph Giuliani.

Shortly thereafter, anthrax was found in the mail, addressed to the Toms Daschle and Brokaw. This was also called by then-President Bush a terrorist attack.

And in December of that same year, Richard Reid tried to bomb American Airlines Flight 63 with his shoes. He was found guilty of eight counts of terrorism-related charges and declared himself an agent of al-Qaeda in 2003. Bush was reelected to the presidency in 2004 and served an additional four years.

So, try to remember this time. We would’ve used the “Too Soon?” tag, but–based on your memory–apparently it isn’t.

A racist southern colonel? Preposterous!

KFC has found itself in an awkward situation after an Australian ad campaign made its way to YouTube sparking accusations of racism from its American audience. Looks like they’ve should’ve just double downed instead.

The Aussie “Cricket Survival Guide” commercial shows a white man in a crowd of cheering black cricket fans. The Australian fan, named Mick, asks “Need a tip when you’re stuck in an awkward situation?” and then hands a bucket of KFC fried chicken to the black fans. The YouTube video had more than 250,000 views Wednesday afternoon and viewers left more than 3,300 comments.

Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh……..

KFC Australia told Adelaide Now that while the ad could be perceived as racist, it was misunderstood by the American audience.

“It is a light-hearted reference to the West Indian cricket team,” the company said in a statement. “The ad was reproduced online in the U.S. without KFC’s permission, where we are told a culturally-based stereotype exists, leading to the incorrect assertion of racism.

“We unequivocally condemn discrimination of any type and have a proud history as one of the world’s leading employers for diversity.”

That’s some smooth damage controlin’ you got there. KFC Australia is now removing the television advertisement that was being run in conjunction with the Australian cricket season.

Incoming igunanas

Iguanas are invading Florida, like so many other species. But if there’s one bright side to the frigid temperatures hitting most of the country, it’s that these ugly creatures can’t handle the cold and they’re falling from trees.

Unfortunately, they aren’t dead, they’re just in a hibernation state where nearly all of their bodies’ functions shut down. However, we can hope they hit their heads on the way down, and Florida warriors can now rid the Sunshine State of this scourge once and for all.

It’s like the old saying goes, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade–unless freezing temperatures ruin your crop, then you’re screwed.