Day: January 11, 2010

The McBournie Minute: Bryan McBournie likes this

In the past, I have bashed social media. For all my readers over 35, just go ahead and read “social media” as “that Facebook thing.” I’ve said that social media sucks, well I was wrong. Social media is awesome, well, really only Facebook. All those other things suck, and Twitter is basically on the edge of sucking, too.

I see so many of my friends spend most of their day on Facebook. What they do, I’m not entirely sure, but they sure enjoy doing it. Why is it that I can’t enjoy Facebook the way other people do? I took a while to think about this, and after careful consideration, I know now the reason.

Facebook sucks for me because of you. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Bryan McBournie likes this

Was Rick Snee right again?

Last Wednesday, SeriouslyGuys.com columnist Rick Snee gave it to you about the pronunciation of “2010” (again). And while he routinely projects volleys of predictions in these pieces, hoping one of them may stick, it appears he’s on the cusp of being right.

On the topic of future wars in the “Twenty-Ten” chain of events, he said the following:

“But, the Future War could be with anyone or anything. Imagine fighting aliens! Or time travellers! Or maybe even Communazis! Could the British want revenge for losing Samoa in 1900?! We can only hope!“

Not one week later, the Yemeni government said that Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the Nigerian charged with attempted unChristmaslike crotch behavior on a plane bound for Detroit, was “radicalised and recruited by al-Qaeda while a student in London.”

London. As in London, England. That’s where British people come from.

It appears that the U.K. is harboring terrorists. Sounds like invadin’ time to us!

The internet is not ready for Avatar

Are you feeling down? Has life just kicked you around like you wouldn’t believe? Did you get that girl knocked up, only to get fired from your job for being late too often? Is your completely bullsh*t and not a real totally real disease of Asperger Syndrome keeping you from being a productive member of society (which is totally not your own fault at all)?

Then we, repeat, cannot stress enough that YOU NOT SEE JAMES CAMERON’S MOVIE AVATAR. Because you will kill yourself.

Oh, not because it’s a bad movie. The plot is far from mind-blowing, but the graphical aspects of the movie alone are a technological achievement for the ages (not out of the norm for the director [Editor’s note: stop editorializing out of your column, Chug]). No, we say that you shouldn’t see the movie because the internet tells us that. And, as always, if it’s on the internet, then it must be true.

Recent posts on Avatar fansites have seen a slightly less than positive view toward our world. It would seem that fans of the movie are becoming depressed because the world of the movie totally outshines our own tangible world. How utterly cruel of Cameron to do such an act. Some of the posts include wonderful passages like:

“That’s all I have been doing as of late, searching the Internet for more info about ‘Avatar.’ I guess that helps. It’s so hard I can’t force myself to think that it’s just a movie, and to get over it, that living like the Na’vi will never happen. I think I need a rebound movie,”

and

“Ever since I went to see Avatar I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “

Congratulations emo kids of the internet. You’ve now made my day.

Oh sure, support the rapists

Marine biologists are currently arguing that dolphins deserve their own form of equal rights.

Just like Bryan Schools’ desire to wear corsets, they are horribly, horribly wrong.

The basis for the debate is a bit of recent research. Studies have revealed a huge amount of evidence for both the breadth and depth of dolphin intelligence. Dolphins have (according to the crazy people) displayed self-awareness, unique personalities, the capability to think about the future, complex cooperation and group problem-solving, the ability to not only recognize themselves in mirrors but also use it to look at different parts of their bodies and even the capacity to learn symbol-based language.

But wait-there’s more. Apparently, there is also anatomical evidence to support the case for high dolphin intelligence. The ratio of brain mass to the overall mass of the body in dolphins is second only to that of humans, exceeding even that of chimpanzee’s.

This is highly, highly unfortunate news to hear. People don’t seem to realize that dolphins are the jerks of the sea. They’ll regularly group up to take out a shark or whatever prey that they’re hunting. Now, while we at SG do appreciate a civil war of sorts behind the front lines of the enemy, we also appreciate the characteristic of nobility. In that regard, does no one acknowledge the sadistic nature of their penchant for rape? Does no one remember the historical account (only the names and faces of the parties involved have been changed) of when a dolphin raped a hard-working American man for no reason at all? Shameful. Congratulations to Diana Reiss and Lori Marino for orchestrating a massive cover-up of such wanton behavior.

Why don’t you like me?

An attempted bank robbery ended up with one man getting his feelings hurt and no cash being stolen.

In Springfield, Massachusetts, the bank robbers are a bit on the sensitive side. Police say a man walked into a bank and demanded money from the teller. He said he was armed, but did not flash a weapon at any point. Someone in the bank started yelling at him and the would-be robber left, deciding he’d had enough.

No one ever said bank robbing was easy.