Day: January 12, 2010

Eat My Sports: NFL quick hits

I thought about boring you with another retrospective. But going over the Top 10: Manly, but sort of on the quasi-homosexual looking moments TheGuys have had since the beginning of 2000 would be way to hard to narrow down.

The NFL playoffs are back, and at least one game was a good as advertised. Despite Pittsburgh being out of it, I’m stoked about this year’s field.

Why?

Did ABC finally comply with my demands for an Erin Andrews bikini update every 20 seconds? No. In fact, my entertainment with this year’s playoff picture, unlike years’ past, has nothing to do with bikinis, or the lingerie bowl. Whether you’ve realized this yet or not, but 2010 is an uncapped year for the NFL. That’s ####ing scary. We are at the dawn of a very realistic possibility of a Redskins vs. Raiders Super Bowl. Also, 2011 is a possible lockout year. So this is the last genuine playofff scheme for a while. Welcome to the new decade!

Well, if you were watching this weekend, here’s what you should’ve picked up on. Continue reading Eat My Sports: NFL quick hits

‘All You Need Is Love’ (and maybe creative restraint)

After two Christmas horror films, Robert Zemeckis is done turning the holiday into a celebration of soulless-eyed celebrity vanity projects. His next sacred target: The Beatles.

Zemeckis plans to motion capture four actors playing The Only Good Thing from England (suck it, Shakespeare!) in a remake of Yellow Submarine. At least there’s four actors instead of Robin Williams or, old standby, Tom Hanks impersonating them all.

The eyes won’t be the only dead things haunting our dreams in his production, though. The songs will also be the actual Beatles’ recordings that, if you’re a fan, you’ve heard over and over again. At worst, the baby boomers will think they’re having an acid flashback, and at best, you’ll finally be over The Beatles.

Looks like no loving for long time

Looking for a Chinese bride? Not so fast, McBournie. If you’re looking to get hitched over in China this year, take a number, in fact, we can give you the number you’ll have: 24,000,001. Because there are 24 million men of marrying age in China right now who won’t be signing their single days away, primarily because of the countrie’s one-child per couple policy.

And you know exactly who China has to blame for this injustice. No, not the commies, the animals.

Burn, water, burn

Researchers put a bit of old folk wisdom to the test by investigating whether water droplets on the top of leaves actually can focus the sun’s rays and burn them. The result? Score one for folk wisdom, old wives and pure luck.

For years, that line of logic has been why many gardeners advise against watering plants at midday, when the sunlight is at its fiercest. And not laziest. Totally, not laziest. However, there’d never been any scientific basis for this assertion. Until now. Biophysicist Gabor Horvath and his team at Hungary’s Eotvos University have now set out to determine the validity of this notion both through direct experimentation and computer modeling.

They discovered that, depending on the type of leaf, it really was possible for water droplets to burn leaves. In particular, leaves with tiny wax hairs, like those on a fern, were able to hold the droplets just above the leaf surface. Much like a magnifying glass, the droplet focused the light directly onto the leaf, which left an unmistakable burn. On the other hand, smooth leaves, like the maple, displayed no such burn effects. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, some plants are actually emo.

So, what’s the general verdict? It’s possible, but not exactly likely. Nonetheless, that research alone should be more than good enough for Roland Emmerich to make a movie where water starts massive forest fires. Or M. Night Shyamalan. What a twist!

Randy buggers and right inclement weather

Winter sucks. It’s a fact. Another fact: Half the world is suffering through winter right this very second, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Here in the United States, we’ve been hit hard by cold weather and snow storms, but we’re not the only ones affected by the weather.

In the United Kingdom, people have been stuck indoors because they have gotten so much snow. And by so much, we mean millimeters, or whatever crazy measurement they use in that monarchy. So, what have English people done to pass the time indoors? They got online and went to a Web site designed for extra-marital affairs. IllicitEncounters.com (no, we’re not linking to it, you’re at work, remember?) received a record number of new profiles in a 24-hour period last week as a snow storm hit.

This apparently is a bad time to be married in England.