Red Madness sweeps U.S.!

Posted on February 5, 2010
Filed Under Regular Post | 1 Comment |

In case your calendar doesn’t update to include every observation ever conceived by people with charities to fund, February 5 is National Wear Red Day.

National Wear Red Day was organized by the American Heart Organization, which doesn’t realize that red is already the color of:

HIV/AIDS
Communism
Wrist Awareness
Sixth Grade Literacy (What? You didn’t read The Red Badge of Courage?)
Republican Washington Nationals Fandom
Khurramite Succession Over the Mazdak Religion
Anthropomorphized Kool-Aid

Basically, we’re saying they could have received better notice if they chose a less used color.

By the way, we’re sorry that we reported everyone wearing red to the FBI for possible ties to Khurramite extremism. We got spooked by the sudden numbers.

Written by Rick Snee