Day: February 8, 2010

The McBournie Minute: I am now a broken man

It’s all over, folks. There is nothing left to explore. There are no new wonders in the world to discover–at least when it comes to alcohol. And it’s all the New Zealand Antarctic Heritage Trust’s fault. (Side note: Is there an Old Zealand?)

The trust found the fabled lost whiskey of Sir Ernest Shackleton, which has been mellowing in the permafrost for a century. One can imagine it’s quite smooth at this point, more importantly, it was the booze of the famous explorer. Apparently the whiskey was sitting underneath Shackleton’s hut in Antarctica. The bottles were still in their boxes.

From what it sounds like, they’re not even planning to open them up and enjoy the liquor of a great man. What a waste. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: I am now a broken man

Boning up on beer

We already knew beer was good for your heart, vascular system and working out your liver muscles. But, little did we know that it’s also good for your bones!

Researchers at the University of California, Davis discovered that beer is a source of dietary silicon–which may be good for bone growth–and that beers with high levels of malted barley and hops carry the most.

Listen, fellas, if old milk ads have taught us anything, it’s that women love a healthy set of bones. So, bottom’s up!

What’s more presidential than making new citizens?

Proving that the U.S. isn’t the only country with an oppositional party that overcompensates with moral outrage, the South African party, Congress for the People,  is asking for President Jacob Zuma’s resignation.

Zuma, who already has 3 wives and 20 children, fathered another one out of wedlock. That’s right: it wasn’t even with one of his three wives! What ever happened to marital fidelity?!

(Of course, were this a French African country, his wives would probably accept his mistress.)

Critics are citing the statistic that “one in nine South Africans is infected with HIV.” They argue that Zuma’s out of wedlock child sets a bad example.

We’re not saying that South Africa has a … shoddy understanding of AIDS, but not only do they seem to believe that simply more South Africans equals more AIDS, but Zuma himself said, for a separate sex charge, that “he took a shower after the act to minimize the chance of infection” after (allegedly consensual) sex with an HIV-positive family friend.

We know you ate unhealthy food last night

You’re in Dubai, but you want to stay slim, after all, you are planning on going to the beach, and you want to look good in your banana hammock. But, you also need to eat, it happens.

Why not try something fast, filling and fat free? We present to you, the camel burger. Because you know you’ve looked at a camel before and thought, “Hmmm, I wonder what that thing tastes like, especially on a bun with some cheese on it.” Now you can find out.