Day: February 18, 2010

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Annie Hall’

Alvy Singer stands in front of an orangey sort of backdrop and tells us, the movie audience, the joke about two women at a Catskill resort. “The food,” says the first woman, “is terrible.” “Yes,” the second woman agrees, “and the portions are so small.”

This, says Alvy Singer, is just about the way he feels about life. It’s not great—in fact, it’s pretty evenly divided between the horrible and the miserable—but as long as it’s there, he wants more.

In this fashion, Woody Allen introduces us to the particular concerns Annie Hall, a comedy about urban love and incompatibility that finally establishes Woody as one of our most audacious filmmakers, as well as the only American filmmaker who is able to work seriously in the comic mode without being the least bit ponderous. And you know what? It’s a story full of love, and surprisingly enough, pure romance. Hit the jump to see more about it. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Annie Hall’

The Chronicles of Argentina

As everyone knows, we’re at war. We’re at war with animals, drugs, poverty, uncomfortable feelings and religions we don’t agree with. But, we’re allies, so that means we’re also at war with anyone they’re rattling sabres at.

Notice the British spelling of “sabers” above? That’s because it’s time to kick some spicy Argentine ass for the Falkland Islands again!

It may sound grotesque to cheerlead for war, but it’s the Falklands! Princes will go to battle in a magical world where toilets flow backwards and puffins dot the landscape. If the Brits filmed this with children and Shakespearean actors, you’d Fandango tickets this very instant.

Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to write ourselves into some Falkland fan-fiction as invaluable American assistance.

Real life has consequences? ZOMG!!!11

We’ll go ahead and get the pun out of the way: Oh WoW!

A World of Warcraft essentially slipped the human race the finger by getting involved in a drunken dispute with his mother, grabbing her hair, choking her, and headbutting a wall. Oh, and he also ended up getting shot in the head by his grandfather. All in one night. Impressive.

27-year-old James Swan, who lives with his mother, had been playing WoW and getting drunk before the fight began. That might mess up his ability to effectively use some of the macros, but hey, who are we to judge? Swan’s mother demanded that the man-child tone down the noise while he played his game at 10pm, a demand that Swan took umbrage with. So very much umbrage. NERD RAGE! Wacky hi-jinx ensued as the MMO player eventually grabbed his mother by the hair and flung her onto a bed. We can only hope there’s nothing Freudian about that action. He also did the same to his little brother, who had arrived to find out what the noise was about.

The mother ran to call the police, but Swan ripped the phone from the wall and proceeded to repeatedly headbutt the the spot where the phone once was, which is a good way to show the phone that it needs to learn its role in life and get back into the kitchen and make me a sammich.

Ahem.

He then began to choke his mother into near-unconsciousness, threatening to kill her, before the grandfather became involved. Swan threatened to kill him too, so the grandfather got his gun. The two men then wrestled over the gun, which went off and shot James Swan in the head. The bullet bounced off his skull and went through a window. Luckily for Swan, he was only wounded, and was arrested after refusing treatment at a hospital.

Words cannot begin to accurately articulate the glee and childish squealing that this story has given me.

Robert Pattinson: gayer than we thought

Look, we all knew that Twilight star Robert Pattinson was a little less than manly when he dawned the silver screen with sparkly vampire skin. But now, Pattinson is confirming his fall from heterosexuality with an allergy, an allergy to vaginas.

What? You with nose in the book, Team Edward t-shirt, spiriling social life and no sense of reality, you don’t believe me? Read ’em and weep.

Number 16 has nice hashtags

Are you single? Do you want to find that special somebody in 140 characters or less? Then flittering may be the way for someone to finally retweet you every now and then.

In Canada, singles were invited to flirt via Twitter. Yes, they all had to be in the same room, but they didn’t actually have to talk to each other, which you know, isn’t really important in a relationship anyway. Everyone wore a number and watched their cell phones for tweets that might be in reference to them.

Unsurprisingly, the events organizer claims that flittering makes it easier for shy people to meet someone. More importantly, it makes it so shy people never have to overcome their paralyzing fears of interaction with the opposite sex.

The Guys prefer stwittering, stalking people on Facebook.