Day: February 22, 2010

The McBournie Minute: The menace that is food

The world is a dangerous place, and that goes double if you are a small child. Why, if you aren’t watched carefully, you are liable to choke yourself to death inside a plastic bag. Children are incredibly stupid, I believe science can back me up on that one.

As you may have heard, the American Academy of Pediatrics said earlier today that there should be labels on types of food that are choking hazards for small children. Hot dogs, grapes and small carrots rank among the most deadly for young children.

I know what you’re thinking. Back in my day, we ate out hot dogs cut up and dunked in ketchup. We didn’t get to eat whole hot dogs on a bun. No, we ate it sliced and we liked it that way. Does that mean that I had parents who actually paid attention to simple dangers as most parents should, thus negating the need for these labels in the first place? Hell no! In fact, I agree with the AAP. I think we need labels on more than just the types of foods they listed. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: The menace that is food

SeriouslyGuys makes you smarter

Readers, we know you’re already pretty smart. You’re reading SeriouslyGuys at work, maybe even in school, and we bet you haven’t been caught yet.

We’ve been high-fiving your intelligence with penis jokes for years, and now 75 percent of surveyed “scientists, business leaders, consultants, writers and technology developers” agree: SeriouslyGuys (and some of the rest of the Internet) makes you smarter.

Of course, there’s still that pesky 25 percent that believes that you use the Internet to serve as your intelligence or reinforce what you already believe. You know that’s not true, and–to prove it–we said so.

Sick? It’s gonna cost ya

We’ve all been hit by the current economic climate, even if it does seem to be making an upward swing, albeit gradually. Of course, most of us haven’t been hit as hard as the state of California has been. The laundry list of their state budget cuts is a mile long, and for town and cities, it’s even harsher. Well, Tracy, California is sick and tired of being broke. As such, they’ve decided that there’s only one way to effectively make money:

Charge people for 911 calls. And not just any fee, but a fee of $300. Yeah, but what?

Yeah is right. Ambulance fees just aren’t enough to keep things running afloat, especially with a $9 million budget gap. At least, that’s according to “lawmakers.” Oh hey I was gonna report that rape/murder/theft/heart attack I saw but I didn’t have the cash. Sorry!

So, anyone want to run the numbers on how long until the first reported case of someone having a heart attack, people being around who see it happen, and no one calling 911 because they don’t want to pay for it?

Congress is too manly for its own good

Are you tired of Congress? Does it seem like they just won’t get the job done, no matter who we send there? Do you believe lawmakers are no longer willing to work together on the issues? Sen. Evan Bayh, D-Ind., agrees with you, which is why he’s done with it all.

The problem with Congress today? They’ve got balls.

Yes, in an interview, Bayh said “testosterone poisoning” was part of a culture shift in Congress that has led to everyone hating everyone and picking sides. Well, that and reality television. Bayh also said “tribal” politics has led to our current situation. It is so bad that congressmen are organizing themselves into two groups, and every two years some people get voted out.