Day: February 23, 2010

Eat My Sports: T-Mac attack

I’m finally done with my near year-long ranting of football and baseball, you get a baseball column in the next few weeks because pitchers and catchers reported last week. However this week I’m here to praise an un-praiseable situation. Congratulations New York!

No, I’m not nor will I ever be a Yankees fan. I hope they all have herpes inflammations during a playoff run next year, fans and team included. No, we’re here to praise the New York Knicks for accomplishing something many, especially myself, never thought they would in the next decade: put themselves in contention.

Everyone knows that at the turn of the millennium, the Knickerbockers have sucked more than Hoover products, the Oakland Raiders and pre-girl only Jenna Jameson combined. And they have a 317-436 record to show for it since the beginning of the ’00-’01 season. The combination of bad ownership, horrible drafts, Isaiah Thomas and trades for every overpaid, past their prime shooting guard in the league (Stephon Marbury, Steve Francis, Penny Hardaway, Shandon Anderson, Howard Eisley … you get it now, they sucked) left New York trailing only Britney Spears’ mid-decade breakdown as the biggest laughingstock since George W. Bush …, you know what? Enough with the references, you get it, I’m up on sports and pop culture. Continue reading Eat My Sports: T-Mac attack

If you can enforce a ban, you can enforce a quota

The International Whaling Commission (don’t let the name fool you–they’re ag’in’ whaling) is offering a truce to longtime animal warriors Japan. Instead of continuing their outright ban, which the Japanese dodge by calling their kills “science,” the IWC might permit them to limited whaling with as-of-yet undetermined quotas.

How do the Japanese justify killing the better part of 30,000 whales, the majority becoming food, since 1986 as science?

1) Food science is science. It’s science that you eat. Without out it, there would be no Twinkies, Cheez-Whiz and other “foods.” It’s only a matter of time before the Japanese discover a fish-like substance that tastes like whale.

2) Less whales equals more Japanese people. The world’s seaweed and tiny gross fish supplies are running scarce because whales eat it all. What will the Japanese eat if they can’t cut it up and tie it to rice? Spaghetti-Os?

3) The best technology comes from war. We’re at war, but the Japanese are facing a giant, intelligent foe that may use language to coordinate its underwater convoys. Therefore, any weapons they develop for whaling will lead to peacetime innovations like odorless braces and typhoon guns.

Scientist tells Hollywood to knock it off already

Hollywood has always been fairly … liberal with their application of science, even when they get it right. This is not a new revelation, as some of you might point out. Well, physicist Sidney Perkowitz is tired of it and wants it over and done with-now. As such, he’s decided to to ask them nicely: please break the laws of physics only once per movie.

The Emory University scientist believes that good science in science fiction is beneficial for both scientists and filmmakers. Scientists can rest easy knowing pop culture isn’t purveying crap science, and Hollywood wins by not insulting the audience’s intelligence. Now, he’s not totally against science used in movies, he just wants it to be good science.

“I am not offended if they make one big scientific blunder in a given film,” Perkowitz added. “You can have things move faster than the speed of light if you want. But after that I would like things developed in a coherent way.”

“If you violate that you are in trouble. The chances are that the public will pick it up and that is what matters to Hollywood. The Core did not make money because people understood the science was so out to lunch,” he added.

As friends of mine can attest, the reason I think The Core didn’t make money was because it was a crappy movie. But I digress.

Where do we sign up?

The cane toad invaded Australia long ago. Since then, the country has been at war with the large amphibian not because it is an animal, but because it destroys crops. These toxic toads also kill off wildlife that try to eat them.

The newest weapon in the battle appears to be a cat food can. Researchers found that leaving an open can of cat food near a pond where baby cane toads dwell attracts a meat-eating type of ant. The ants also happen to be immune to the toads’ toxins, and they can successfully eat the baby toads.

If we can use the animals against each other, we might just win this thing.

Key quote: “In one spot we tested, 98 percent of the baby toads were attacked within the first two minutes,” researcher Rick Shine told Reuters. “It was a bit like a massacre.”