The McBournie Minute: Drink and screw like a champion today

As some of you may have heard they just held the Winter Olympics in Vancouver (the one in Canada). You probably heard about all the controversies, triumphs and manufactured story lines NBC could come up with. Don’t worry, I won’t bore you with that.

What I am here to talk to you about is drinking and screwing–Olympic style. You may not know it, they certainly don’t talk about it on television, but the Olympic village is one big romp. This is true. Apparently, a bunch of slender, fit, hormone-crazed people under the age of 27 mate like crazy, possibly in hopes of creating a master Olympic race, possibly because accents are so sexy.

But in Vancouver, the love was not restricted to the confines of the Olympic village. It made its way out to the public, too. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Drink and screw like a champion today

If you’re reading this, you don’t have it

The world is skeptical of sex addiction, or hypersexual disorder, in the wake of recent sex scandals–most notably that of Tiger Woods.

Sure, we live in a world where our greatest information-sharing and connectivity tool is used predominantly for pornography. We even have terms for postponing work or other activities to indulge ourselves, like “procrasturbating.”

But, calling the urge to continue the species (if we forget to take precautions) a disease like restless leg syndrome or erectile dysfunction, well … that’s just taking things a little too far, right? (Which is what your mom did not say last night.)

It may not be a disease, yet, but psychiatrists are considering the addition of hypersexual disorder to their next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. (The link includes a checklist for your hypochondriac amusement.)

All we’re saying is that, should this happen, employers better expect more sick days taken.

That is one rich appetite

We’ve given you many stories in the past of food that’s so expensive, you’d have to take out a second mortgage just to have the chance to dine on it. But some people are just so money hungry that they’re … well … hungry for money.

A man flying in Europe won 10,000 euros on the flight via a scratch card. That’s pretty frickin’ amazing. Per the company’s rules, all he had to do was collect the money from the company running the competition once the plane had landed and was on the ground. That’s pretty easy to do, right?

Wrong. And how dare you for thinking otherwise.

The man reportedly became frustrated with this simple set of rules and then began eating his ticket. This, in turn, caused the ticket (and the subsequent large sum of money) to become null and void. The money is now going to a charity. The man only wanted the money to be with him at that very moment. How hard is that to understand?

While it’s good that the money will be going to a good cause, still-what a moron.

Celebrity Rehab: Animal Edition

We know that animals want to kill us and rule the world, but did you know that they are also poor role models? It’s true. Just look to Russia.

Traditionally a country on our side of the war, Russians sent a chimpanzee to rehab, yes rehab, for drinking and smoking. In other words, the chimp was basically acting like the average Russian. Rather than kill the beast and be done with it, the Russkies decided to rehabilitate the addict. It’s getting ugly, folks.

Key quote: “The beer and cigarettes were ruining him. He would pester passers-by for booze,” the Komsomolskaya Pravda paper said.