Day: March 8, 2010

The McBournie Minute: Wine, women and weight

Women readers, and I mean both of you, it’s time we had a chat.

You’re getting older–everyone is–but you’re getting increasingly worried about how age could affect you and the looks you strive so hard to maintain. It’s easier for men, even in their younger years, they don’t need much upkeep, they don’t even really care if they put on a few pounds or get a little salt in their pepper. For some reason, they still look good.

Meanwhile, you ladies have to deal with a society that constantly judges you on your looks. From childhood, you were conditioned to want to look pretty, and it was reinforced when other girls would either mock you or respect you based on your appearance. Now that you’re getting older, perhaps you’re worried about gaining weight with age, not to mention childbirth. Science has a solution: alcohol. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Wine, women and weight

Was it … murder?

The oldest American is dead; long live the oldest American!

Stunning everyone, 114-year-old Mary Josephine Ray died on Sunday. Ray was the oldest living American and, according to the Gerontology Research Group, the second-oldest living person in the world.

Suspiciously, there is already a new oldest person in America: Neva Morris of Iowa, who just happens to be only three months younger than Ray.

So, the new oldest American is 114-years-old, which means she was running out of time for her own reign … unless Ray was out of the way.

Just where were you on Sunday, Ms. Morris, if that is in fact your name?

Disney unsure whether to sue

Anyone that’s been to Disneyworld has seen the “It’s a Small World” ride, where a boat on a track takes the riders around while creepy animatronic dolls dressed as children from around the world incessantly sing the same song alllllllllll throughout the entire ride. It’s fun enough when you’re a kid, boring as an adult and possibly nightmare inducing no matter what age you are, but nevertheless, they’re just dolls, right?

But what if they were real?

Don’t get your goat

The Guys are all about pets. We enjoy having enemy slaves to do our bidding, then cleaning up their poop. But sometimes people make the wrong choice in pets.

They get something dangerous, that should not be kept as a pet, things like snakes, spiders and dogs. Now there is another one to add to that list: the miniature goat. Apparently mini goats are the newest pet fad. They answer to their names, do well in any back yard and supply milk.

What people forget is that the goat, mini or full size, is a dangerous creature. They will eat any junk they find. That includes your laundry, your furniture and your children. Do yourself a favor and don’t buy one of these things, it only encourages other buyers.