Day: March 31, 2010

Take it from Snee: Shut up and take it

My entreaties for peace fell on deaf ears (deaf eyes?) last week. I offered you people spaghetti and puppies, but look at us now: talking about potentially fighting in the streets if conditions are just right. We’re on the verge of a revolutionary civil world war, and it’s all because some people refuse to stop talking about threats.

Oh, did you think I was gonna take your side in this, Democrats and people who don’t like to be touched? No freakin’ way.

There are institutions to protect, practices to defend, and you have called down the thunder by daring to speak your opinion and effect change. And then, when we respond like a rational mob, you dare to accuse us of getting violent or angry?

Well. Conservative activists, Catholic apologists, school bullies and now I, Rick Snee, have had enough of your backtalk. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Shut up and take it

Clinton never would have stood for this

Sure, everybody out there is happy/pissed about the new health care package President Obama has delivered. But what you may not know, is the funding going into the package he doesn’t want you to deliver.

That’s right kids, there is $250 million going into programs trying to keep your Object A from inserting into Slot B before you’re married. Because, you know, politicians are the best judges of moral and sexual behavior.

Ronald McDonald: Member of the Illuminati

A consumer advocacy group claims it’s time for Ronald McDonald to go, saying the nation’s largest fast-food chain’s “Chief Happiness Officer” has too much influence on kids. Yes, you read that right.

Corporate Accountability International will release a report looking at how McDonald’s uses Ronald McDonald as a marketing tool to market unhealthy products to children. The report includes information on childhood obesity rates, health and how Americans see Ronald McDonald.

McDonald’s, however, says Ronald McDonald is a “beloved brand ambassador” for the fast-food chain.

“He is the heart and soul of Ronald McDonald House Charities, which lends a helping hand to families in their time of need. Ronald also helps deliver messages to families on many important subjects such as safety, literacy, and the importance of physical activity and making balanced food choices.”

Corporate Accountability International plans to hold nearly two dozen events at McDonald’s restaurants and at colleges around the country Wednesday as it announces the contents of its report on Ronald McDonald. Events are being held in New York City, Boston, Chicago, Orlando, Greensboro, N.C., Minneapolis, San Francisco and Burlington, Vt., among other locations.

The advocacy group has also launched campaigns against bottled water and tobacco companies. So, you know, the group’s got that going for it.

Using new nickname is a ‘supertask’

If you’re reading this page on your phone while driving, you may want to look up for a second because a playground just merged into your lane.

According to a study at the University of Utah, only 2.5 percent of people can sufficiently do two things at once, like curl their hair and burp a baby.

If you’re not one of these 2.5 percent and attempt to drive and talk on the phone, then you’re an idiot. If you are one of these 2.5 percent, then you’re a “supertasker,” which makes you sound like an idiot.

In Other News:
New England drivers can breathe a sigh of relief. Rhode Island is finally getting its drivers off the road.

Can’t put this book down

Sorry, folks. I am too busy reading a book I just got to write much of a post this morning. I picked up Crocheting Adventures with Hyperbolic Planes the other day, and let me tell you, it is a page-turner.

It makes Collectible Spoons of the Third Reich look like Afterthoughts of a Worm Hunter. If you’re looking for some fun reading now that the weather is improving, I highly suggest it. After I’m done reading, I’m going to have to come up with a cooler title for my own book.