Day: April 2, 2010

You Missed It: Shots fired edition

Today’s Good Friday, and I am not at work. Why is that, you ask? Because Jesus died for my long weekend. For some reason the markets are closed today, and some lucky businesses are, too. I happen to work for one of them. So, if you’re reading this at work. Don’t worry, I’m out enjoying the sunny weather. If you were busy watching water seep into your house, odds are you missed it.

Remember where you were when you first saw the video
Erykah Badu made news this week when she released a video for a song you’ve never heard of. Without permits, crew or apparent common sense, Badu and a cameraman walked through Dealey Plaza in Dallas, where JFK was shot, as she stripped (during the video, not the assassination) in front of families and oncoming traffic. Theories abound as to the message or meaning of the video. Some fans claim there was a second camera shooting from the grassy knoll.

iHype is back after a short break
The Apple hype machine was switched on again this week, but the fanboy monster was two-headed this week. First, the iPad, Apple’s high tech take on the cafeteria lunch tray, is nearing its release date, and there aren’t enough to go around. Secondly, rumors circulated that a new iPhone could be released this year that would work on non-AT&T networks, like Verizon. With this site having a white background, all we need is some happy music and snarky tagline at the end and we’ve got an Apple commercial.

Who even knew they were married?
We found out that Sandra Bullock definitely wants a divorce from noted motorcycle person and tattoo enthusiast Jesse James because of alleged affairs with several women. We’re not talking Tiger’s numbers, but it’s up there. Also, he might like Hitler. With all of these Hollywood people sleeping around with random skanks in the same area, you have to wonder if there’s an overlap on clientele.

They may also know when we’re coming

It’s truly horrible to think about, but we may have found a use for animals aside from sustenance. Did you know that they have toads in England? It’s true. And apparently they are magical.

According to a new study, toads can predict earthquakes. Scientists found that 96% of male toads left their breeding grounds just before an earthquake struck in Italy last year. This, of course, is why I never leave home without a toad.

Doctor prefers Republican penises

Dr. Jack Cassell of Florida (where else?) put a sign on his door: “If you voted for Obama … seek urologic care elsewhere.”

Cassell defended his sign, saying that he’s not actively turning patients away, “but if they read the sign and turn the other way,” then it f#%king worked. So, if you disagree with the pee-pee doctor’s politics, then you’re just gonna have to care for your new Candiru yourself.

Personally, we applaud Cassell’s efforts. It’s not every day that a doctor let’s you know he’s lousy at his profession before you even walk in the door. That’s service.

R. Kelly is somehow involved in this …

Grace and elegance aren’t two words normally associated with Sean “P. Diddy” Combs, and yet, he’s the face of Cîroc French vodka, the already controversial spirit made from grapes that set the world on its ear about what is the definition of vodka. With this public statement from Diddy,

“If you are not drinking Cîroc vodka, then you are drinking pee pee,”

Cîroc’s image isn’t exactly that of refined adulthood. And yes, those were his exact words.

Martin Silver, chief executive officer of Star Industries (which owns Georgi vodka), did what any competing owner would do-he filled a toilet bowl with bottles of Cîroc vodka and tried to deliver it to Diddy’s Manhattan office.

The public stunt started in Times Square, but when the toilet bowl got too heavy for the business-suited man carrying it, a cab was beckoned. Once at the front of the building, Diddy’s security guards met them at the curb and would not allow them in the front door. Silver asked for an apology for the urinary comment; however, all he got was a roll of toilet paper thrown from a window above.

Don’t worry Diddy-SeriouslyGuys will never forget you.