Eat My Sports: A look into my crystal baseball

And not a moment too soon, baseball is back! America’s pastime has come back to save us from the headlines that have Duke winning another championship and Donovan McNabb going to the Redskins. The boys of summer are back, and if opening night/opening day were any indications of what is going to happen this year, Tiger Woods being caught on video with Lindsay Lohan and a trained monkey wouldn’t be more entertaining.

Given that I am short on time and idea (I’m getting married in four and a half weeks, cut a guy some slack), we’re going to cut right to the chase. Here are my division winners, wild cards and postseason picks. Continue reading Eat My Sports: A look into my crystal baseball

Exercise is the new green tea

If you’re reading this, you’re probably not exercising. That’s OK. After reading this, you’ll be inspired to begin immediately.

As we reported earlier, your baby is fat. Babies, however, are also notoriously lazy: demanding to be carried, soiling themselves and not even bothering to chew their food. But, pregnant mothers who exercise give birth to smaller babies, which delays their inevitable chunking-up by a year or so.

Exercise also may treat depression and anxiety. Researchers believe the increased activity makes you too tired to care about your naggy, fat baby or dead end job.

And, if you thought your baby was good for nothing, that was nothing compared to their teenage years. Fortunately, it appears your teenager can overcome your fat genes by exercising for one hour a day.

It’s only a matter of time now before exercise is recommended for curing sprained ankles, heat exhaustion, drowning, heart attacks and asthma. Now run! Run until your herpes clear up!

This guy will end up as President

INTERNET RAGE!!!!!!!11111

That’s apparently what was felt all across the massive series of pipes and tubes recently when a young man purchased an iPad on Saturday, destroyed the item with a baseball and then put up video of him doing so on YouTube. Is Justin Kockott a man that feels great vitriol for Apple, much like our own Bryan McBournie?

No.

“I wanted to be the first one to do it before other people did it,” Kockott told the newspaper.

“It was just something to do.”

Oh, don’t mind that thunderclap-like sound, as it’s just me slapping my palm against my face. Well, at the very least, he’s probably seen the videos of popular stuff being broken, as where else would he get the idea to do so? As such, he had to have known that such an act may see a bit of … overzealous behavior from the Mac faithful for his video, right?

“I knew some people would hate it, but I didn’t think that many people would hate it,” he said.

“A lot of people are leaving really bad comments (in the YouTube comments section).”

And my younger brother wonders why I tend to complain about teenagers. As the resident Apple user at SG (note: I need more pretentious berets and black clothing in my wardrobe), I suppose that I should feel slightly angered toward him for doing such a thing-but really, I can’t. This sort of thing has been happening for year with almost every new piece of technology as soon as it comes out. What am I supposed to feel? I think a better question is where has a 19 year old managed to get at least 1500 dollars in order to afford three iPads? I certainly never had that type of money at his age. Heck, I don’t have that lean green now! Anybody wanna spare a dime for a brother in need?