Day: April 15, 2010

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Shaft’

Blaxploitation is an interesting thing. To me, it’s one of the only two film genres that most embodies the American spirit. That is not hyperbole-I truly and honestly believe so. Blaxploitation is a concept that arose from a period of both social and civil unrest and change into product with its own unique culture and identity. In doing so, it created a precedent for all future items similar to itself in idea. Sound anything like the origin of a country that you or I may know?

Shaft (the original 1971 version, not that Samuel L. Jackson remake dreck) is, was, and will forever remain the definitive blaxploitation film, utterly and without question. Not only that, but it’s also considered by many to be the very first blaxploitation movie. Shaft and other blaxploitation films represented black action heroes fighting white crime in a cynical urban environment. The films symbolized black-power politics in an era when portrayals of blacks regularly consisted of servants and sidekicks. Shaft broke the mold, laying the groundwork for modern actors and filmmakers like Samuel L. Jackson and Spike Lee. But is it any good? Not everything ages well, after all. Pop on in and find out.

Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Shaft’

A Whopper of a loogie

To help sort out everything in this story that could or did go horribly awry, here’s how it went down by the numbers:

1. A Sheriff’s Deputy walks into a Burger King. (Classic!)

2. He orders a Whopper, presumably with cheese and no spit.

3. The cashier screws up his poker face, raising the deputy’s suspicions.

4. The deputy sifts through his burger, layer by layer until he discovers, under the meat on the bottom bun, “a loogie filled with milky phlegm.”

5. He then takes the remains of the burger (we assume he ate the top layers since he didn’t find any spit, and there are starving children in Korea) to the boys in the lab for a DNA analysis.

6. That DNA analysis returns results pinpointing one of the employees at the Burger King, which means he either swabbed everyone there or the culprit’s DNA is on file from a prior bodily fluids-related offense.

Yep, it’s just another day in Vancouver, Washington.

The road to Rhode Island

When it comes time to make a decision on where to move, especially out of state, one needs to consider many things: school systems, laws, local predators, proximity to bars, and probably taxes too. Well my friends, if proximity to bars and taxes were on your list, combine the two and you have Rhode Island with one of  the lowest alcohol taxes nation-wide.

Considering there is nothing else to do there, might as well drink right?

A bump on the noggin will get your engine going

Welcome to one of the best headlines in a long time. According the news wire, 24 year-old Briton Amanda Flowers has become a “sex addict” after falling off her Wii Fit board.

That’s just rich.

It seems that, courtesy of the fall, she’s developed persistent sexual arousal syndrome. Now any time Amanda is around anything vibrating or pulsing, like a mobile phone or blender, she becomes aroused. Like I said, her engine is going.

“It began as a twinge down below before surging through my body”, she says of the onset of an attack.

Provided this is actually and truly a real story, this isn’t one hundred percent great for Amanda. On the one hand, she went from playing Wii Fit to developing a serious condition. On the other, most people that fall off things get hurt, not a bunch of unprovoked orgasms.

That morning jolt

Ever been to a job fair? (Please, hold your applause. Thank you for that kind welcome back.) It’s a bunch of people walking around dressed in clothes nicer than they feel comfortable in, handing out resumes like candy.

From the potential employer’s standpoint, it is also a battle to get people’s attention. If they don’t come to your table, how can you hire them? You need an eye-catching gimmick. For the Lake County, Colorado Sheriff’s Department, that gimmick was free Tasering for volunteers.

About 30 high school students volunteered to be shocked with a Taser at a job fair because they wanted to feel what it was like. The deputy was suspended for a week.