Day: April 19, 2010

The McBournie Minute: The enemy re-used

We live in a disposable world. Done with that food? Throw it out. Through with your old cell phone in favor of a new one? To the trash bin! Tired of that annoying friend? Heave him into the dumpster! But there is a new trend growing: re-purposing.

Across the world, people are taking objects they already own and using them for things other than their original use, or buying IKEA book shelves but instead making them into TV stands. This spirit of reuse is catching on worldwide faster than Crocs with white people.

There’s something useful about this in our ongoing War on Animals. It’s Sun Tzu-esque. Part of this growing re-purpose trend is taking an enemy, and making it somehow useful. Yes, we are witnessing the dawn of the re-purposing of animals, something we have not done since our ancestors re-purposed them into food, clothing and piano keys. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: The enemy re-used

What to get the rock star with everything

Sharon Osbourne, wife of walking tremor/rock star Ozzy Osbourne, is having her breast implants removed. She plans to give the disembodied knockers to Ozzy as a present, suggesting that they could be used as paperweights.

This is a surprise to everyone because nobody knew Ozzy has papers to weigh down.

(Perhaps they’ll keep him abreast of his finances.)

Rise, my cake

Chancellor Palpatine Emperor Palpatine Pope Benedict XVI recently turned a whopping 83 years old. At his birthday party, he was given a large cake and had “Happy Birthday” sung to him in English. Because, you know, the Catholic Church has never had issues with small children and Benedict has never had any possible ties to the German Nazi party or movement. Never.

We can only assume that each candle (all 83 of them) had a tip that resembled a Pope hat. Because that makes us smile.

In other food related news, a hub-bub has been stirred up regarding the irony of KFC’s recent healthy focus campaign for the Susan G. Komen foundation and their release of the Double Down. And yet, there’s another hub-bub that they might want to focus on also. Oh, and SHAMELESS PLUG IS SHAMELESS

Just mowing the road, officer

Lawnmowers count as motor vehicles, so don’t hop on one when you’re drunk–unless of course the only way you can bring yourself to do yard work is if you have a healthy buzz going.

In Tennessee, a man was pulled over recently by police while riding a lawnmower down the road. Apparently that got the cop’s attention. What did not help matters was that the man apparently smelled like alcohol.

The man allegedly told cops that he just went out to get a few fishing poles–which a neighbor claimed were stolen out of his garage. You have to think walking is nearly as fast.