Day: April 26, 2010

Naked women are the new sexy

Much like Larry Craig at a gentleman’s club, we get that Fox News is trying hard to look like it cares about women. If you were a network that hires cheerleaders to support an anti-abortion, it’s-only-sexist-if-it’s-about-Sarah-Palin narrative, you’d worry about the average empty-nester switching channels to her stories, too.

But, there’s trying, and then there’s trying too hard. Case in point: “Voluptuous Is The New Black!” (Exclamation theirs.)

Look, Fox. Christina Hendricks? Yes, she’s hot. Other voluptuous women? Many of them are hot, too, and some of them are fat. But, are skinny women out? No. Like voluptuous women, some are hot, and some are coat racks. And some women in both categories? Ugly, with very little to do with the body.

Basically, here’s the code to understanding what’s attractive to men: if we want to see her naked, she’s in the Attractive Women’s Club.

(Special thanks to James.)

Your tax dollars at work-over and over and over

There can be some really long hours logged on by the SEC in their attempt to bring justice against that jerk Bernie Madoff. Really, really long hours. And well, sometimes the edge needs to be taken off.

So, it should be no surprise that copious (which is putting it lightly) amounts of hours were spent by some SEC employees looking at porn-at work.

Though there is one nugget of information that needs to be known:

Another accountant — a woman — attempted to explicit websites 1,800 times in a fortnight. She was found to have 600 pornographic images on her computer hard drive

Label me with whatever nasty term you’d like, I don’t care. This. Is. Awesome.

Seriously kids, this is one utterly hilarious story that you need to be laughing at, lest your mind split into two when you think about it.

Cops, not a taxi service

You can find all sorts of ways to get a ride home from the club. You can meet a perfect stranger and say you’ll go back to their place, then ask to be let off, you can take a skateboard and grab on to the back of a truck until you’ve reached your destination, all of these are viable options. You cannot, however, dial 911 for a ride home.

To protect and serve, right?

Maybe he’ll end up being a model prisoner?

It seems a Japanese police officer in Fukuoka was recently arrested for violating national sword and gun control laws by modifying a model gun he had purchased to shoot metallic bullets and then posting about it on his blog. Always a smart move.

The guy was actually an assistant police inspector, theoretically, a step up from the typical beat cop, so we might be able to  assume his position would have required some understanding of the laws he was expected to enforce. So, what did he say when they arrested him? He claimed he didn’t even know he was breaking the law in question. I guess I can’t speak for everyone, but even I know that Japanese weapon laws are incredibly strict, to the point where even owning a swiss-army knife can get you in trouble. You might expect the police department to be a bit more on the up-and-up regarding laws.

Also, can I just point out that being able to write “national gun and sword laws” is one of the most awesome things to happen to me today?