Day: April 29, 2010

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Coffy’

Quick note, kids and kittens: this Saturday, May 1, is Free Comic Book Day. If you go into a comic book store, you will be able to come out with at least one special free comic book. There are ones for all ages, so don’t be afraid-embrace what you may or may not have seen yet. Also, if you’re in the Roanoke Valley area, or can get to it easily, I would highly recommend stopping by Cosmic Castle, located in Towers Shopping Center, over by Crock & Roll. Cosmic Castle is staffed with wonderfully intelligent and witty employees that can help you out at a moment’s notice, and will readily do so.

We close out yet another blaxploitation month with the movie that’s widely regarded by many as what made Pam Grier famous: Coffy. I’ve got to say that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this month. Blaxploitation movies are one of my favorite movie genres, but not in a “so bad it’s good” kind way-I truly love these movies. There’s something about the rawness, the grit, the from-the-heart feeling that stems from their craft that just gets me smiling. These types of movies are easily a go-to for me.

What’s also been great about this month is that we’ve taken a look at some really shining examples of the genre. Not only have the previous movies reviewed been good blaxploitation movies, but I’ll readily argue that they’re great movies-no extra qualifier. But does Coffy get to join these movies in their greatness? Well, they can’t all be amazing. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Coffy’

The World at War … with Animals!

Our boys are fighting bravely all over the world, including in our own backyards and crawlspaces. Remember: buy bacon, or you’re a damn dirty ape!

And now, briefs from the War on Animals.

Caged Bleat!
Connecticut authorities have locked up two goats in the state prison, sentencing them to hard labor. The goats were turned in by farmers who didn’t want them anymore, probably for domestic terrorist attacks against their cans.

PETA burns man alive!
Species traitors and terrorist organization PETA has claimed responsibility for the future cremation of an Oregonian Oreganoan Oregranarian a guy from Oregon. They have already announced how they will desecrate their victim’s remains with pithy slogans and their logo.

The least they could do after cooking him is to eat him. You know, Native American-style.

MADE PAINSTAKINGLY BY ME!

We here at SG have a huge amount of respect for Samuel L. Jackson. Sure he’s been a great actor for years, but honestly, for us, Snakes On a Plane launched him into the stratosphere of untouchable, the man is a ####ing badass god. Which is why we are finding it odd that Jackson would apologize to Naomi Watts after they shot a love scene in the upcoming film Mother and Child.

Sam, you apologize for nothing. In fact, Watts should be thanking you for getting to be naked in front of you. And when people ask you what scene it is, just say it’s the one that says “badass mother ####er on it.”

It’s a sad day for Happy Meals

Unhappy times are ahead for those who love Happy Meals in Santa Clara, California. It’s being reported that Santa Clara County has approved a ban on the promotional toys that often accompany kids’ meals at fast-food spots like McDonald’s, Burger King and Taco Bell. The toys must be discontinued unless the restaurants can institute a voluntary program in the next 90 days that improves the nutritional offerings. Yeah, that’s easy to do.

According to ordinance sponsor Ken Yeager, “This ordinance prevents restaurants from preying on children’s love of toys. This ordinance breaks the link between unhealthy food and prizes.”

Childhood obesity and diabetes is on the rise in the U.S., and Santa Clara is taking a route that goes above parental roles in healthy eating and targets the food itself. The ban will create massive havoc for franchise owners in Santa Clara, even if Happy Meal toys were better back in my day.

What could this ultimately lead to? Families driving across county lines just for some plastic. And Happy Meal toys.

SG images explained

As you may have noticed, we have a few different styles of images on this stately site of ours. Confused? Don’t be. We’re here to explain.

First off, there’s me (Bryan McBournie). I tend to go with images with a basic, white on black caption. Do they sort of look like the Oasis logo? Well, yeah. Whatever.

Then, you’ve got Chris “Chugs” Taylor, whose images are fairly direct, in that they don’t have any jokes that jump out at you, but if you hover over them, that’s when the joke pops up. Chugs makes you work for it. He’s not a cheap date.

And then there’s Rick Snee. He’s got the hover over jokes on most of his images, but he also does a sort of lolcat-esque effect with the text in his images.

This makes perfect sense, because when he’s not posting on SG, he’s making lolRicks.