MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou’

On the face of it, The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, is an adventure tale about a Jacques Cousteau-on-the-skids-type who decides to pull an Ahab on the shark that ate his buddy. But mostly, like all Wes Anderson movies, it’s about being 11 1/2 sometime around the late ’70s, an age-era axis favored by Anderson and at least partly attributable to his current age of 35.

But Anderson doesn’t make nostalgic movies, exactly. He makes movies about the way nostalgia works on people — which is different. All of his characters have longed for something weirdly ineffable, like the present, or the adult lives they imagined as kids. Oceanographer, documentarian and hubristic tragic hero Steve Zissou longs for all of the above—plus a legacy; a son-figure; the reporter who has come to write a profile on him; a puff piece to get his career back on track; some money; a little consideration; a little understanding and revenge on a shark. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou’

New record in nomination remorse set!

It took less than 24 hours for Rand Paul to throw away his party’s lock on one of Kentucky’s U.S. Senate seats.

In two separate interviews on NPR and “The Rachel Maddow Show” on Wednesday, the just elected Republican candidate for Senate questioned parts of the 1964 Civil Rights Act that forced privately-owned businesses to not be so openly racist.

(Examples of private businesses include taxis, power companies, gas stations, hospitals, banks and grocery stores. Just in case you’re confused.)

Mr. Paul clarified the remarks with a statement on Thursday, stating that he would not try to overturn the act. In addition, the National Republican Senatorial Committee tried to “help” by issuing a reminder in their statement that Southern Democrats opposed the bill back in 1964 … like Rand Paul? Is that what they’re saying?

We don’t often give advice to political candidates, so listen close:

SG Political Axiom #2
When someone asks if you–as an unelected candidate–support racial segregation, you’ve had 46 years to practice your answer: “No.” Don’t clarify. Don’t say it’s OK or unenforceable in certain situations. Don’t even say, “I’m opposed to segregation,” because that’s too many words. Just say, “No.”

It’s not murder if they’re barely alive somehow

Oh, America. You just couldn’t resist, could you? And now it may literally be the death of you.

KFC, home of the now-legendary Double Down sandwich, is proudly trumpeting the news: The eye-popping tower of bacon and cheese surrounded by chicken filets (no bun) is about to sell its 10 millionth sandwich. And to celebrate, they’re going to extend its run.

“This truly an example of popular demand,” says Javier Benito, executive vice president of marketing and food innovation for KFC. “Our plans were to feature the product only through May 23, but millions of Double Down fans have spoken and we won’t disappoint them. You’ll continue to be able to get the Double Down at KFC this summer.”

Ten million. Well, perhaps it couldn’t be helped. The fried chicken chain got a huge burst of free marketing when news outlets heard about the breadless sandwich. If you didn’t see the ads, you read the scathing commentary. The Double Down has become a cultural touchstone–look online for proof. Twitter feeds are full of people marking their first encounters with the sandwich, and videos of people eating it are all over You Tube.

So is it the worst thing out there? Not totally or by a long shot. But it’s still not exactly health food. Is the taste worth it? With 10 million sold, plenty of people seem to think so.

Down with the racist youth

If there’s one thing The Guys hate, it’s animals. But if we could choose another thing to hate, we’d say racism. We hate any white devil who doesn’t see people of different colors as their equal. This is why we have to deal with the issue of children.

According to a study, most white kids are biased toward lighter skinned people, the same is true to a lesser extent with African-American kids. Why are our kids so racist? Really, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we eliminate children from our society, because their time for preaching hate is over. We need to start picketing outside classrooms, protesting them at their homes, and even deny them cookies as punishment.

The future is too important to leave in the hands of a child.