You Missed It: Dr. Frankenstein edition

Have you noticed the United Kingdom is having some issues lately? First, the former British Petroleum has a massive oil spill that has yet to be stopped. Then, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown is forced out of office, and finally, British Airways workers are on strike, resulting in massive revenue losses for the airline. I would say it is the worst time to be British since 28 Days Later. If you were busy spacewalking this week, odds are you missed it.

Going viral
Genome researchers said this week that they had created the first bacteria strain from synthetic DNA. This is a significant scientific achievement, because, well, I have no idea why, actually, but it looks like it’s time to buy more anti-bacterial soap.

This ought to solve everything
Freedom of caricature advocates and people who don’t really like Muslims celebrated “Everybody Draw Muhammed Day” on Thursday. The Facebook-propelled holiday is celebrated, oddly enough, by drawing a picture of the prophet Muhammed. This will be followed up with “Everybody Start a Stupid Fight Day.”

CANNES!
Linday Lohan, who is on probation, by the way, failed to make a court appearance this week because she lost her passport at the Cannes film festival. Instead, she partied in France while waiting for a temporary passport to be issued to her. In future news Lindsay Lohan is making a blowing all her money in prison on toilet wine.

The birds and the teens

As providers of news and entertainment, The Guys listen good and hard when it comes to your tastes. In that vein, we bring you TEENAGE SEX!

Talk dirty to them
A New York City judge ruled that it was wrong for the Department of Education to suspend a sex education teacher for using vulgar terms in class. In the reading of his decision, Judge Jack Weinstein said, “At least she didn’t f#@k them.”

That’s a wrap
Washington, D.C. officials are now giving out bigger condoms to high school and college students after receiving complaints that the previous ones were too small and brittle. The male students are happier, adding that now they just need to find people to have sex with their “giant monster dongs.”

Love is on the rails, every where and every town

Where to you go to meet potential lovers? The club? The mall? Furry conventions? How about the train? That could actually work if you were to ride on the JR East’s Koumi line in Japan.

There’s one train car that is actually hosting a singles event! Singles aged 25 to 40 will board the fancy hybrid train that passes along the scenic Yatsugatake mountains, going from Kobuchizawa Station in Yamanashi Prefecture to Komoro Station in Nagano Prefecture and back again, giving guys and gals plenty of time (4.5 hours) to mingle and make a connection. It’s quite literally speed dating.

“Guy and girl train enthusiasts, get together on Japan’s most fun train!” says an enthusiastic Sumio Taga, the organizer of the event.

With Japan’s rich and stereotypical history of men and the train system, that doesn’t sound creepy at all!

But he can only drive if he’s got decent protection

Speaking of quarterbacks, Tony Romo, or “Dull Tony,” as he’s known in the Latin community, is something of a golfer.

Sure, he’s one of those celebrities you see out in the pro-am tournaments, but he’s trying to qualify for the U.S. Open, advancing one round after playing in a local qualifier. True to form, Romo said he plans on getting a bit farther before letting the wheels fall off his game.