Day: June 8, 2010

Eat My Sports: A Natinals event

It is now the second week of June. This is typically the time when baseball’s elite start to distance themselves, and those nice little guys who flirted with .500 and had a division lead when they were 0-0 are starting to settle where they normally end up, and yes, welcome to baseball in D.C..

Baseball in the summertime in D.C. is a lot like football in Oakland, basketball for Clippers’ fans or Tiger Woods’ marriage: dead. If anyone can remember, the Nationals were last relevant in the summer of 2005. It was their first year in Washington, they had Alfonso Soriano and were a division leader going into the All-Star Game. To put this in perspective as to how long ago this was: Fall Out Boy was a “new” artist that year, Wedding Crashers was not in the $7.50 bin at Wal-Mart, SeriouslyGuys wasn’t even a thought, Chris, McBournie and myself were just out of college and batches of Jack Daniel’s that were being released had started aging in 1998. Continue reading Eat My Sports: A Natinals event

Obama’s search for perfect ass

With today’s headlines about President Barack Obama, it may be a good idea to hide your puppies.

The President worked out his rage as most people do, with Matt Lauer, concerning the BP oil leak; BP’s CEO, Tony Hayward and the idea that he hasn’t blown up an oil rig off the coast of England with “Fat” Tony stuck inside.

President Obama justified his meetings with experts, saying that it takes a committee to nominate names and assess asses before an ass can be kicked. He added, “This seems to work pretty well for the Pentagon.”

In the meantime, Hayward is still very much physically unharmed by any and all able-bodied U.S. politicians.

It’s not exactly what you call street cred though

It’s the worst nightmare of every famous person-there’s someone out there that looks like them, and they’re in something that they really shouldn’t be in.

The latest victim of this: President Obama. Just what is he purported to have been in? The music video for “Whoomp (There It Is)”. Yeah, it’s that bad.

Now, not all of our readers might know of this video. For our younger SeriouslyAudience, check out the video here. Don’t worry, we’ll wait for you.

All done? Good, now you can understand just how damaging a video like this can be to someone’s reputation (like you’ve never done or listened to anything ridiculously dumb as a youngster), and we’ll continue. Now, the person in question in the video is clearly not Obama, but actually his long-lost twin. Or his lost EVIL twin. Who is planning on secretly replacing him. Now the real Obama will have to partner with a ragtag group of misfits kicked out of the army for their unconventional take on the rules of warfare in order to stop him.

War on Animals, eh?

The animals are focusing their attacks on our neighbors (or as they say in Canadian, “neighbours”) to the North. Last week, a pig wearing a scarf held up highway traffic in southern Ontario. Several callers told the police that they saw the beast walking along the road, but the commuter menace eluded authorities.

A day later, an apparently wild rooster has been terrorizing people in Saint John, New Brunswick. The rooster has been waking up residents early in the morning, and has apparently set up shop in one family’s back yard. The sleep-deprived citizens is becoming a problem for people with its loud crows and disparaging remarks about peoples’ mothers. Here’s a thought: someone leave their cat out one night.