Day: June 21, 2010

The McBournie Minute: Hipster’s paradise

It’s a world we often hear about, but seldom see. Its impacts are felt around the world, yet so little is known about it. I made it my assignment this past weekend to travel to this land, a land they call Williamsburg, New York–the land of the hipster.

I can still remember the shock I felt when Chris, my friend for as long as I can remember, told me he lived in the Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn. I was taken aback. Sure, I had always thought of myself as open-minded, but principles are a lot harder to define when you find out your friend is one of them.

When first I signed on for the safari, I was unaware of the ever-present danger. I was in the hipster capital of the world, and I didn’t even have a five-day stubble-beard. I stuck out like a sore thumb when all I wanted to do was blend in. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Hipster’s paradise

This won’t be abused at all

Besides testing out a version of football that doesn’t allow the use of hands, the 2010 World Cup is also an experiment for a new anti-rape condom.

Rape-aXe is the brainchild of South African Dr. Sonnet Ehlers. It is a latex condom worn inside the vagina that is lined with “teeth-like hooks” that latch onto a rapist’s penis. Any attempts to remove the device by hand will cause it to constrict tighter, but will not break the skin.

Rape may never be funny, but the prank potential of anti-rape devices is hilarious. Like, say you find somebody’s Fleshlight or Real Doll.

As played by Steven Seagal

No one expects the cook to be a martial arts bearing hero of the day. That expression is clearly shared by many of the Somalian pirates. It’s possibly a good thing that people are like that.

The cook for a band of Somali pirates managed to sneak food, cell phone cards and guns to a group of hostages taken by said pirates. His actions literally saved the hostages and the day. Which is why he’s apparently vanished off the face of the earth. Of course, that matter is complicated just a bit by European Union nations, Syria and Djibouti (best name for a country STILL) refuse to take him in.

It’s always promising to see bureaucracy keeping the old tradition of “no good deed goes unpunished” alive and well.

The Lady Gaga/#### you NY tour continues

One week after telling the Mets with her middle finger what everyone had been dying to say to the team for years, Lady Gaga decided it was high time to mess with the New York Yankees.

Gaga, using her poker face, snuck into the team’s clubhouse with two girlfriends, but is now banned after Hal Steinbrenner kicked her out for her “boozy antics” and “repeatedly fondling her boobs.”

Somewhere in this story there is a joke about the Yankees not wanting a straight woman throwing herself at them … if only we could figure it out.

Animals on the loose

Somewhere in Canada, a Bengal tiger and a couple camels are on the lam, though not literally, there is no lamb involved–yet.

The three animals were being transported to a zoo, when they somehow convinced the driver of the truck they were in to stop for a bit. They then convinced an unidentified person to steal the unattended truck. There’s no word on the animals yet, but unsurprisingly, the zoo is all worried about their health.