Day: June 28, 2010

The McBournie Minute: The ghost in the machine

I own a cell phone. Yes, I know. You probably just think I have it as some sort of status symbol, but really, I do have a phone with me where ever I go. A growing number of people do, as it turns out, and they may or may not be getting head cancer from it. No matter!

For over a year and a half, I have used the LG Dare. Simple, slim, touch screen, reliable. It was a dumb phone that was just smart enough for what I needed when I got it, and it is still about all I need today. Unfortunately, the cell phone market is a racket, and my phone may or may not be on its last legs. Meanwhile, I have two months until I get to trade it in.

The Dare had worked great until recently. Now, it seems to have a mind of its own. I don’t know how, but it is haunted. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: The ghost in the machine

Saddest kickball game in the world

If you think the rivalry between Camp Icheewicheetumtum and Camp Howzyafather for control over the Peepeehat Totem is intense, then think again.

The Gaza Strip is home to the biggest summer camp grudge since Meatballs: the scrappy, can-do U.N. campers vs. the militarized Hamas jocks. In fact, some masked men–believed to be Hamas counselors–raided the U.N. camp, “tying up guards and slashing tents and an inflatable pool.”

To date, the Hamas summer camp has refused to comply with U.N. requests, like permitting inspectors to take stock of their toilet paper supplies or appraise the content of their bug juice.

While Hamas police officers regret the bullying of their summer camp, hardliners opposed to the U.N. camp that teaches young men “folklore dancing” and other “weenie activities.”

Said one Hamas legislator: “NEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRDS!”

FPS create unlikely friends

A judge in Bristol, Virginia, has abandoned his seat after it came to light that he’d been a constant video gaming companion of a man he’d sent to jail at least three times over the years.

The gaming friendship Judge Joseph R. Carico, had with Jeremy Hubbard, came to light after a late-night car crash last year that hospitalized Hubbard. Carico swerved to avoid a deer on Nov. 22 and smashed into a tree. Of course, as Hubbard’s past came to light, the story about their gaming habits came out. The two talked about their enjoyment of games during a happenstance meeting at a restaurant where Hubbard worked. That led to many game sessions that got so serious, the two thought about forming a competitive gaming team along with some of Hubbard’s neighbors. Which is something that even I haven’t considered doing.

Of course, because gaming is such an honorable past time, Carico prosecuting Hubbard on a drug charge in 2003 is just water under the bridge. Now, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with being gaming BFFs with a felon … unless you’re a judge, where it raises questions of propriety and conflict of interest. Carico hasn’t stuck around to answer them. He’s bolted his seat, leaving the other judges to pick up his case load, and isn’t answering calls for comment. Eep.

Don’t Tread On Me (in this case, the mound)

We need to come up with some sort of snappy name for this. It’s still going. “The war against the British” sounds like something we did already, “the British invasion” definitely has been taken. Any suggestions?

Anyway, the Brits came to America again the other day, this time wielding guns–something they can’t even do in their own country. Prince Harry, still recovering from nearly getting peed on by a snake, came to New York, shot an M4 rifle at a West Point (the very same fortress Benedict Arnold once tried to hand over to the English) firing range, then invaded a Mets game.

Harry threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the baseball (or as they say in England, “football”) game, and even got it across the plate. Fortunately, it was just the Mets, so there were few witnesses to the outrage. Is there nothing American about America’s game anymore?