Day: July 13, 2010

Eat My Sports: The Column

“This Fall, I will be taking my talents to …”

And that is where LeBron “King” James said his last words. We are witnesses to nothing more than someone who couldn’t handle the pressure of crunch time, could not lead, could put up amazing numbers but never come through when it counts, nothing more than a NBA version of Alex Rodriguez. When James uttered the words “South Beach” on Thursday night, the air was sucked out of the room $140 plus million was taken away from Cleveland area businesses, Kobe Bryant became the best basketball player of our generation and we as a sports fanbase watched a once in a lifetime athlete decide to put on the red and yellow of Robin as opposed to the Batsuit.  Continue reading Eat My Sports: The Column

If only teens loved something more than smoking …

The Southern Nevada Health District has discovered the key to getting teens to stop smoking, picking up where tobacco companies have failed. (Which is surprising because those guys are marketing geniuses!)

The District has employed Vegas-style ads, using sex, booze and possibly Siberian tigers to convince youth that smoking is not sexy and, if you can’t get laid, then there’s always vodka.

Of course, some less successful anti-smoking campaigners have a problem with this. Smoke-Free Gaming chairwoman Stephanie Steinberg believes the ads just create a new problem: sexy, easy teenagers with tasty breath.

Steinberg’s right: unless these ads teach teens and young adults to eat their vegetables, volunteer with the elderly, spend a year abroad, go to church and quit smoking, then they might as well stay out of the discussion.

Welcome to the lost episode of Miami Vice

Last year, we reported about the living representation of Frank Abignale Jr., a teenager named Colton Harris-Moore. At the time, the story ended essentially on a cliffhanger, as it was alleged that Harris-Moore swiped a Cessna and took off, but the plane was then found damaged.

Well guess what-it must be time for the new television season to start because we’ve got a conclusion to the season finale! The Barefoot Bandit, as Harris-Moore is apparently being known as, has been captured after a high-speed boat chase in the Bahamas, which sounds totally awesome.

Nonetheless, the kid (when you’re 19, you’re a kid in my eyes) will be on his way to jail, potentially facing a lot of jail time. Or, he’ll be recruited by our government to help prevent similar crimes that he committed. Potentially.

Let’s see if he can predict the outcome of this

Remember Paul the psychic octopus? He correctly guessed all eight (Octopus. Eight. Get it?) of Germany’s games in the World Cup, as well as Spain’s win in the final round. (I checked with the experts, and it appears that wins and losses can actually happen in soccer.)

If there is one thing the Germans hate, it’s losing. And rather than blame the refs, the coaches or even the players, they have fixed their attention on Paul and want to grill him up to teach him a lesson. Citizens and newspapers alike are calling for his head-like thing.

These animal bastards are even messing with our sporting events!