Day: July 21, 2010

Ask Dr. Snee: No ifs, ands or butts

Dear Dr. Snee:

I’ve just had a birthday, and I’m worried about getting older. More specifically, about prostate exams. Do doctors really have to stick a finger up my butt? What if I enjoy it? Or are there any other methods?

–Sitting Around

You know, SA, you couldn’t time this question any better. In fact, your timing is so extraordinary that a casual reader might think I just scanned the news for a medical headline, found a silly one and then wrote a fake letter from someone embarrassed about prostate exams. It’s a funny idea, but completely untrue.

But, seriously: South Korean doctors have just devised a new test that also involves fingers, only this time, it’s with your finger. Continue reading Ask Dr. Snee: No ifs, ands or butts

Animals become endangerous

Just when we think we’re reaching a stable point in the War on Animals, nature finds a way to change the entire game. They’re now using our own government–in this case, the U.S. fish and Wildlife Service–as a human shield.

Knowing our hesitance to open fire on endangered species, the animals are now recruiting whales and bison to conduct suicide bombings around the world. The bastards!

You know what this means, warriors: we need the Japanese.

Parenting is not its own reward

It’s said that crime does not pay, but this may now be otherwise. A man was able to nab not one, but two Xbox 360s from a Beavercreek, Ohio Best Buy while carrying a diaper bag and a real live baby.

The man, described as 6ft, 250 pounds and balding, grabbed two consoles and left with them under his arm while carrying the child. He then got into his Kia Spectra and sped off, allegedly without even securing the baby in its seat. Although on the surface this looks like bad parenting, we can’t rule out the fact that the baby was in on the scam, mind you possibly the brains of the entire operation.

Not having children and pawning off any duties involving my younger brother when he was growing up onto my parents, that’s gotta be one big diaper bag.

Sit back, relax, put your wallet on your tray table

If you flew on Air France recently, you may want to check your pockets.

Several thefts reported on the airline’s flights to Asia were reported, prompting an investigation. Police say it was a flight attendant who stole thousands of euros in cash, cards, jewelry, watches, etc. off of sleeping passengers.

When you stop and think about it, you have to be pretty smooth to rob someone on a flight. First, you need to do it in a way that the other people sitting in the victim’s row don’t see, then you have to hope no one finds out anything is missing until they are off of the plane.