The McBournie Minute: Steal my attention

Colton Harris-Moore, the alleged Barefoot Bandit, captured America’s interest for more than a year. The idea of a teenager outsmarting the law, traveling across the country on a crime spree seemed to just click with people.

You have to admit it was pretty cool to hear about a kid stealing and crashing private planes, in some cases, leaving his mark on the runway. Of course, landing he wasn’t so good at, not that he had a pilot’s license or anything. The problem here is that he set a new standard for criminals.

Now, we’ve got people committing crimes trying to get famous with one-off gimmicks. I am here to say not that crime doesn’t pay, I’m sure it does on occasion, but crime for the sake of crime is downright annoying. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Steal my attention

Dumbasses don’t deny dumbass claim

We’re not saying the Birthers are dumbasses, but Colorado GOP Senate candidate Ken Buck did.

Buck expressed frustration with the “dumbass” Birthers that keep showing up to his rallies and making the news. He told a Democrat operative that he wishes they would just shut the f@#k up, asking him or her to “tell those dumbasses at the Tea Party to stop asking questions about birth certificates while I’m on camera.”

Fortunately for Buck, the Birthers are a voting bloc that’s too stupid to be insulted.

9/12 Project Colorado Coalition leader, Lu Busse, only noticed that her candidate used some naughty language [emphasis ours]:

“‘He could have not called us a name,’ said Busse. ‘It would have been better to say, “Why do these people” and he shouldn’t have used a bad name, but I don’t see it as he meant anything personal to me or to the other people in the Tea Party movement.'”

What a dumbass.

He spits in the face of capitalism

The trade-up: everyone’s vaguely familiar with the concept. Here’s a quick explanation-I give you a hot dog. You give the hot dog to a homeless man for his pen. You give that pen to an accountant for a shoelace. You give that shoelace to a nuclear physicist for his clipboard. Eventually, after numerous trades, you end up as the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or something along those lines. It’s a formula that’s been used many times in different mediums-kids’ stories, cartoons, I’ve even seen it used as a story on a cooking show. But rarely is it ever heard of in real life.

Until now.

Stephen Ortiz, a teenager in California, was given a phone by a friend, free of charge. He took the gift to the cesspool of the internet Craigslist. The phone led to an iPod Touch, the media player created by the company that is the bane of Bryan McBournie led to a dirt bike, and the transportation of teenagers in 80’s movies led to another a Macbook Pro. Eventually, Ortiz landed himself a Porsche.

As someone who works in a auto related industry, 17 year old Stephen’s lifelong dream is a nightmare for his parents.

Bombing run

Now they’re after our entertainment.

In St. Louis, the Kings of Leon were trying to perform for all the nice people who paid to see them, but pigeons had other plans. The outdoor concert was cut short–way, way short–after only three songs, because pigeons kept pooping on them.

It got so bad that band members were being hit during every long they played. Apparently, the animals of hearing that “Use Somebodaaaaaaayah” song.