Take it from Snee: Motherf@#king friendship

As you can see in the top right corner of this page, we’re off next week to observe National Clown Week.

Per usual, I was going to the Ringling Museum, even though it isn’t really a circus museum. (They were the first place not call the cops.) And I was going to cosplay as Pagliacci to show all those Heath Ledger Joker impersonators a little class. I was even looking forward to dying my dickfro into a rainbow wig–you know, for the funny-chasers.

But, NO! I have to go to a wedding. Because I have friends.

I know that friends are supposed to be good for your health, but not everything about friendship is yoga and wife-swapping. And a lot of it goes unsaid because friends are supposed to just understand these things. So, here are some things I’ve noticed about friends. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Motherf@#king friendship

Alcohol: The elixir of youth

It may seem like we champion the health benefits of booze to the point of ignoring its effects on driving. Well, you know what’s (arguably) more dangerous than drunk driving? Elderly driving.

And that’s where booze wins again. According to a retrospective British study, which was most likely performed with room temperature beer, drinking reduces susceptibility to rheumatoid arthritis.

So, you wanna stay young, loose and safe? Drink.

The King is dead

And he will continue to stay that way, even in the digital world. After more than a year spent dancing into our hearts and gardens, objections from the King of Pop’s estate have caused PopCap Games to replace the killer Michael Jackson lookalike in Plants Vs. Zombies.

The Dancing Zombie in Plants Vs. Zombies will be removed from the game, though not from our hearts, as plans are currently underway to replace him in all versions of the game with a disco-themed imposter.

“The Estate of Michael Jackson objected to our use of the ‘dancing zombie’ in PLANTS vs. ZOMBIES based on its view that the zombie too closely resembled Michael Jackson. After receiving this objection, PopCap made a business decision to retire the original ‘dancing zombie’ and replace it with a different ‘dancing zombie’ character for future builds of PLANTS vs. ZOMBIES on all platforms. The phase-out and replacement process is underway.”

The change has already been implemented in the iPhone version of the game with the latest update, with plans to phase out the dead pop singer across all platforms. Hoo-hoo!

Machines that do the work for us

You know what are great? Dams. Not just because they make cool waterfall things and keep the river downstream from ever flooding over, but they also can be harmful to wildlife.

According to a report by the World Wrestling Federation World Wildlife Fund, any of the 11 proposed hydropower dams on the Mekong River in Southeast Asia could end the Mekong giant catfish’s tenure here on Earth. The fish can grow up to 10 feet long and weigh up to 770 lbs. (!) and would be too large to swim across any of the dams, blocking these car-sized monsters from reaching their spawning grounds.

Not only does hydropower do all this, it’s also a clean form of energy. Where exactly is the down side?