Eat My Sports: Football, it’s not just a fantasy

It’s mid-August, and that for us here in America means a few things: we have a few weeks left of seeing our women scantily clad (unless they dance and work for cash), baseball’s pennant races are heating up, Sam Adam’s Octoberfest is finally being distributed, and, football is back.

Sure, it’s not mid-season Vikings-Packers grudge matches yet, but the fact that it’s here can bring some excitement to an otherwise boring summer of sports. Let’s face it, if your a football fan of any kind you’re starting to get excited. You’ve got your fantasy draft coming,  you’re over-analyzing a Bengals-Broncos game, you’re delirious if you’re a Redskins fan because you have a decent quarterback and a backfield full of past their prime running backs. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Football, it’s not just a fantasy

Shroud of trailin’ sold separately

Jesus comes in many forms and flavors: buddy, raptor, animated, internet and historically accurate (aka, black, aka, real) are just some of the ways he appears. However, there might be a new one arising (in three days, of course)-trailer park.

A valuable relic, a small piece of wood said to be a part of the cross on which Jesus was crucified, was stolen from a Boston church. Investigators looked high, and investigators looked low, but nary a splinter could be found. Until a tip was given. Police then went to Vermont to find the relic. Where did they find it?

In a trailer park. Possibly right beside a bottle as well. And a rusting air conditioner window unit.

Richard Duncan, a partner in the burglary, called Vermont state police from a trailer park about the item as he was arguing with an accomplice about it. Said partner, Earl Frost, returned the piece of wood to the barracks, but has now, for all intents and purposes, disappeared, contrary to the desires of the police.

Just how valuable was this object?

Church officials estimated the relic’s street value at between $2,300 and $3,800, but said the item is “priceless” to the church.

Of course it was.

Can’t get cold feet when they’re locked together

In times like these, we need to hold onto our hope. It’s the most important thing we as both individuals, and as a nation, can have. This is why we need to believe in things as simple, and yet as complicated, as love. We’re all still reeling from the news that Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin’s second engagement went awry. The entire United States had its hopes pinned on that wedding to show up what romance was again.

We now have a new example. Last Friday, a couple in Pennsylvania went down to the court house and tied the knot. Well, not exactly. The groom was already at the court house because he was fighting a drug charge. After the case was suspended for the day, the same judge married the man and his blushing bride.

The drug case is still ongoing, but the couple’s life together has just begun.